The long and the short of it
The team with the longest name in the FA Trophy 1st Round Qualifying faced the team with the third shortest name. However, the shorter name ran out victors when Yate Town defeated Bemerton Heath Harlequins by 5-0. It was a good day for the short names, with Avro winning 2-1 at Liversedge.
Name dropping
The Cherry Red Combined Counties Division One table is one that I often spend time staring at. As a lover of teams with good names, I find it distressing
that three of my favourite clubs are in the bottom four positions. While the somewhat boringly named Woodley United occupy the bottom spot, above them, reading from the bottom upwards, are London Samurai, FC Deporto Galicia and Rising Ballers Kensington.
Royal ascent
Continuing upwards are Oxhey Jets, Chalfont St Peter, Spartans Youth and Staines Lammas – more fine names. Royalty, or rather the Royalists of Windsor & Eton, top the table. How did the Royal Family allow a team with an ampersand into their neck of the woods? Meanwhile, let’s hope London Samurai sharpen up and Rising Ballers, well, rise ballistically.
Shildon let us down
After reporting last week on Shildon‘s record of winning all five away games and losing all five home games, the club let us down by drawing this week away to Newcastle Benfield. Ben Field was the unlikely scorer for Shildon. Well, he might have been.
A day at the seaside
I made an enjoyable trip to the south coast of Sussex last Saturday to see Southern Combination Division One leaders, Seaford Town. It must be the first 
time in about 40 years that I have paid any hard-earned money to see a reserve team play as Seaford Town faced mighty Dorking Wanderers Reserves. The result was a see-saw game in which Town came back from 2-0 down to beat a youthful Dorking side 4-3. A great day out.
French connection in Durham
Tonight in the highly prestigious Durham Challenge Cup, two sides that are almost a pair meet. If only Hartlepool United could rename themselves Hart-le-Pool United, there would be an unmissable tie between Chester-le-Street United and Hart-le-Pool United. Chester-le-Street United, formed in 2020, appear to have no nickname. Perhaps they could adopt the nickname The Monkey Puzzlers to match Hart-le-Pool’s nickname of the Monkey Hangers.
Winning winning
Esh Winning appeared in these columns a while ago after losing heavily. Not so this season, as Esh Winning are winning and sitting on top of the EBAC Northern Division Two. This week’s 3-2 win over Redcar Town gave Esh Winning their tenth win from thirteen league games this season.
United Towns
Having the name Barry Town United strikes me as greedy by having Town and United in their name. For clarity, I’m not talking about a person known as Bazza with the unlikely middle name of Town. However, on Saturday, Barry Town United faced a team you could pair them with, winning 3-2 against
Flint Town United. March Town United appears to be the only other Town United playing at this level.
King Pair
I discovered a proper pair of clubs this week, albeit about ten divisions apart. While Queens Park Rangers ply their trade professionally in the Championship, Kings Park Rangers are playing at a more humble level in the Chelmsford City Racecourse Essex & Suffolk Border League Premier Division. KPR are top of the table with 15 points from seven games following a 4-0 win away to Belle Vue Social. North Shields and South Shields are good non-League pairs. Are there any other pairs out there?
That’s all, Folkes
I remember that if you were piggy in a game of piggy in the middle, it could be frustrating to play. Tom Derry had the same experience playing for Folkestone Invicta against Billericay Town. After two players from Billericay made Derry piggy, Derry clattered goalkeeper Sam Donkin, resulting in a red card. The final score was a 3-0 win for Billericay Town. Here is the rather splendid video. And that is all, folks.
