Cup runneth over
Fans of Call My Bluff may well recall Frank Muir describing the word ketter, which, of course, means to defeat or do better than a mighty foe. The word appears in the bible in the David and Goliath story. If someone asked you which team has scored the most goals in the history of the FA Cup, you might guess Spurs on 911 or Manchester United on 907 as the leaders. In fact, rather appropriately, it’s Kettering Town with 915, who added to their tally last weekend with a 1-0 win over Cleethorpes
Town. You can also hear Frank saying the word kettering. Let’s hope they bang in a few more in the next tie against St Ives Town.
Quads
So much for the stuff about pairs in last week’s issue; there are indeed quads. Well, just about. Westfield FC play in the Isthmian South Central Division, while Eastfield play in the Scarborough & District League. You can stretch it to a third club if we allow Northfield Town, a club that really ought to drop the Town in their name. They play in Midland League Division Two. This leaves Southfield FC to make the quad. Southfield FC, like Northfield Town, came from the Birmingham area. You’ll notice the use of the past tense. The club ceased to exist in 1893. I’m still claiming a quad.
Not so super
We had an entrant for finding a pair. Someone called Brian Brain wrote to us to say that he was 99% sure that there was a club in the 1890s called Easton-super-Mare as a pair with Weston-super-Mare. Who believes claims about the 1890s? Brian goes on to say, “if not, how about Weston-super-Mare and Swindon Supermarine” on the grounds that they both are super with a marine connection. We’ll think about that one.
Student loan
Loughborough Students have to replay their Cup tie at Sheffield FC due to fielding an ineligible player last week. Loughborough won the first game 1-0 but will travel to Dronfield for the rearranged match. More confusingly, both sides were fielding a player named Fielding, but neither Fielding constituted fielding an ineligible player. That’s hopefully cleared that one up.
Headache
7-1 is an uncommon scoreline at the best of times, but it can’t be too often that the top team loses 7-1. That’s what happened to Gateshead this weekend, who have fallen off the top of the National League after a drubbing at Dagenham & Redbridge. Something of a dagger through the heart and pain in the Heed.
A tad calamitous
When Tadley Calleva drew Farnborough in the Hampshire Senior Cup, 
they probably had high hopes of making the next round. Indeed, Tadley Calleva beat the National South side by 14-0 at their opponents’ ground. In the 14-0 defeat, Farnborough fielded a team mostly comprised of fans plus a veteran goalkeeping coach, avoiding a £2,000 fine for not fulfilling the fixture. Relations between Farnborough and the Hampshire FA have, it seems, worsened after Hampshire FA set Farnborough’s final against Eastleigh in 2022 at Eastleigh’s ground. Further, after beating AFC Porchester 8-0, the Hampshire FA awarded a Hampshire Senior Cup tie to the losers.
Victory nicked
Baglan Dragons of the Cymru South League had fought back from 2-0 down to lead 4-3. South Wales Police brought the game to a halt when they arrested one of the comeback heroes. Baglan Dragons hung on to record victory over Cwmbran Celtic. The remaining players were soon celebrating in the bar while their teammate was potentially behind bars. Actually, the police released him without charge. Was the arresting officer a Cwmbran Celtic fan?
They sphinx it’s all over…
…it is now. Long Eaton United travelled to Coventry Sphinx in the Northern Premier League Midlands Division One. Evan Garnett was the hero, scoring five times for Long Eaton in their 5-1 victory at Sphinx Road. It has been a memorable week for Evan, who may not be aware of the Baglan Dragons match at the Evans Bevans Ground.
Heathens
When Flackwell Heath face Broadbridge Heath in next week’s FA
Trophy tie, it will be the first time in the history of the competition that two heaths have met each other. The clubs are just 47 miles apart as the crow flies, about five hours around the M25.
Not so Early
On the hour, Bishop Auckland led Bridlington Town 3-0 in the Northern Premier League East Division. Then, the comeback took place with three goals from Danny Earl and one from Josh Barrett to give Brid a 4-3 victory. Danny may get an OBE for his effort, making him Earl OBE or earlobe.
Street’s ahead
Street top the table in the Jewson Western Premier League with 23 points from 9 games. However, they are not winning games by big margins, having scored 19 goals and conceded 9. Their win this week was over lowly St Blazye, winning by a 2-1 margin. Indeed, five teams have scored more goals than Street, and five have conceded fewer goals. So, Street may not be streets ahead, but on the right road.
