Late Non-League Review
Yes, it’s Wednesday, and your weekly update is a day late. If referees can add 14 minutes of additional time when there are no injuries, surely I can add 24 hours of extra time. Anyway, be assured it’s a packed edition this week.
Dart more
Newly-promoted Aveley hosted Dartford in the National League South the weekend before last. The clubs are only separated by 6 miles, as well as the River Thames. Not only were visiting Dartford fans subjected to the Dartford Crossing Toll, a toll that was only meant to last for a few years, but they
found that they had a ‘toll’ to face in the Aveley bar, as drinks were more expensive for visiting supporters. However, the post-match drink tasted good for the Darts’ fans as Bradbury scored a goal in stoppage time to clinch a 1-0 away win. Mind you, they probably had their post-match celebration somewhere else.
FA Trophy kicks off
The First Round Qualifying (not the First Qualifying Round) of the FA Trophy takes place this weekend, with 79 ties taking place between Friday and Sunday. The first game to kick off is at Bowers & Pitsea on Friday at 1945. It’s where my From Hashtag United to Wembley adventure began in 2021 as Hashtag groundshare with Bowers & Pitsea. I remember talking to a taxi driver who referred to the club as B&P and thought he was starting a conversation about right-wing politics. I’m just waiting for B&P’s right winger to score a hat trick.
Tame finishing – just a bad shot
My favourite FA Trophy First Round Qualifying tie is Thame United versus Badshot Lea. These two take some beating as unsuitable names for a football club. Maybe a petting zoo in Thame would be more suitable, although I would worry about a firing range in Badshot Lea. I suppose it’s better than confusing conversations visiting supporters to Ware must have when seeking directions to their ground.
Awkward clash
Bishop Auckland faced West Auckland Town in the First Round Qualifying of the FA Cup. After a 0-0 draw at the Heritage Stadium, there was a replay at the Wanted Metal Stadium. Bishop Auckland showed the greater steel in a riveting encounter as they emerged 2-1 winners. The victorious Two Blues, as they are known, continue with metallic connections as they will face South Shields in the next round.
Channeling their energy
Guernsey made their fortnightly trip to the South of England to face Sutton Common Rovers. Charlton Gauvain (I like the sound of him) put the Channel Islanders ahead after 8 minutes. They held the lead until stoppage time, but then disaster struck as Nabeel Ghannam and Ashley Sheppard grabbed two late goals to clinch victory. I imagine both goals came from playing through the channels.
1066 and all that
Well, 1874, actually. I hadn’t realised until this weekend that there are two clubs with 1874 in their name – 1874 Northwich and Darlaston Town 1874. It’s
worth noting that 1874 was the year Aston Villa and Bolton Wanderers were formed. It was also the year that Oxford University defeated Royal Engineers in the FA Cup Final with a 2-0 win at the Kennington Oval. The Scottish Cup Final, played a week later, drew a bigger crowd than the FA Cup Final as Queen’s Park defeated Clydesdale 2-0. In the same year, a law was introduced preventing children from being used as chimney sweeps. Coincidentally, Darlaston Town were the first team to play with a sweeper that year.
Zzoomming ahead
The sponsors of this year’s Herefordshire County League are the quirkily-spelt Zzoomm. Zzoomm are self-confessed ‘full fibre specialists’, although I’m not sure what a half-fibre specialist would do. Indeed, I’m not sure what a full-fibre specialist does. However, they certainly sponsor a league that brings zzoomm-like scoring. Five of last weekend’s six games involved teams scoring five or more. Great work, indeed, by Evesham United, Ledbury Town, New Dales Vale, Wellington and Holme Lacy. I can’t help thinking that Holme Lacy sounds like a TV detective, but I’m old enough to want to forget Cagney and Lacey.
Move over darling
I find it quite sad when fine old clubs from my youth are now sliding down the scale. The bottom two places in the National North are occupied by Darlington and Southport. Following their consecutive relegations from League Two and the National League, Scunthorpe United are doing better this year, as they are second after seven games. At least Southport got the first winner of the season at the weekend when they won 1-0 at another former
League club, Hereford United.
When the chips are not down
My old friends at Chipstead in Surrey have had a decent start to their campaign in the Isthmian South Central Division. Without playing this weekend, they lost their top spot to Raynes Park Vale when Vale ran out 3-0 winners away to South Park. But, 17 miles to the east, there is another Chipstead, who are top of the the NRG Kent County League Premier Division after six games. The chips are not down; they are very much up. Chipstead, the Surrey one, face Lancing in the First Round Qualifying of the FA Trophy this weekend. I am just hoping there is a player named Boyle in the Lancing team to make next week’s headline writing easy.
On the rocks
East Thurrock United of the Isthmian League North Division folded on the 1st of September after 50 years of non-League football. The Rocks reached the National League South in 2016 but have struggled in recent seasons. They reached the first round of the FA Cup on two occasions, losing to Macclesfield Town and Hartlepool without scoring. Their final game was a 1-1 draw at home to Brentwood. There is a shred of good news as the junior teams will continue to play.
