Non-Leaguers in FA Cup
What a fabulous weekend for non-League clubs in the FA Cup 1st Round Proper this weekend. Aldershot’s 7-4 win at Swindon Town was one of the standout results, but there were plenty of others. Horsham’s 3-3 draw at Barnsley was also very impressive, although there is a rumour that they only wanted to draw, as it meant their trip to Potters Bar will be pushed back to accommodate the replay. Who wants to travel to Potters Bar on a wet Tuesday
night? Also, National League leaders Chesterfield defeated the mighty Portsmouth 1-0 to reach the 2nd Round. As for the Charlton v Cray Valley Paper Mills tie, the game was played on Sunday evening, so I am unable to report on this game as we had to go to press before the kick-off. I have no doubt that Charlton thrashed the plucky little part-timers, playing in the Isthmian League South East Division by 8-0 or 9-0, but it’s what the FA Cup is all about, isn’t it?
Papering over the cracks
Actually, I need to come clean. As a Charlton supporter (well, someone has to), the 1-1 scoreline was a strange result. As a Charlton fan, it was a pathetic effort; on the other hand, as a non-League fan, Cray Valley Paper Mills fully deserve their moment of glory after a fantastic performance. It means that Charlton will have to go back to Cray Valley PM’s patch – at least, in theory. There must be a danger that the Police step in and insist that the game is played in John O’Groats with a 3 a.m. kick-off (sound familiar, Horsham fans?). I tried calling Sting to check this out, but he was unavailable for comment. The capacity of Cray Valley PM’s ground is 1000 people, and, by all accounts, that is a stretch. Their ground is called the Badgers Sports Ground (no apostrophe) and is also known as the
Artic Stadium. I expect Charlton will get a cold reception when they turn up to play. Yes, I know Arctic has an extra C, Jason.
Slim chance
I was delighted, indeed honoured, that a tweet on Twitter last week as @FATrophyHound went viral. Well, relatively viral. Let me explain. I tweeted that the Under-18 game between Slimbridge AFC and Hereford Lads Club would be contested by the only club with the first seven letters of the alphabet against one of three clubs with the first six letters (see last week’s article). According to Wikipedia’s latest figures, Slimbridge has a population of 1136, which, judging by the number of likes, shares and retweets, everyone in Slimbridge supports Slimbridge AFC. Curiously, Wikipedia says that the figure of 1136 includes Cambridge. Presumably, not that one.
Grey Lilywhites
Talking of Cambridge, Cambridge City hope to move into their new purpose-built ground in Sawston to the south of Cambridge in the coming months. After leaving their Milton Road ground in 2013, they have been playing at Histon and St Ives (no, not that one). This season, they are in the lower half of the Northern Premier League Midlands Division. In their recent game at Coleshill Town, they let a 1-0 slip in the last ten minutes to lose 2-1. The scorer for the Lilywhites was the inappropriately named Ryan Ingrey. With Richard Black in their squad, I wonder if they need to reconsider their recruitment policy.
Oxford Dom
Keeping the Oxbridge theme, Oxford City are languishing next to bottom in the National League, having been promoted last season. It’s a tough gig in the
National League with few easy games. Still, the club’s analyst, Dom Wheway, is working night and day on ways to outsmart opponents. However, I can save Dom some time. City haven’t lost to a team with a K in its name this season, and 9 of their next 12 games are against sides with a K. Relax, Dom, and get some rest, mate.
Slimboy Fat
Jason Anonymous was quick to reply to last week’s review – in fact, he replied within nine minutes of publication. He accused Fat Rophy of cosying up to Slimbridge AFC, although he did say that it would be cool if Slimbridge won the FA Trophy. Maybe we can run a feature on Shortwood United and Birstall United.
U’s what, U’s what, U’s what, U’s what, U’s what
A Colchester United fan wrote to us this week and was highly complimentary about the weekly Non-League Review. Much appreciated, Sam. However, the point about no mentions of Colchester United overlooked one fact. This is a Non-League Review. Maybe Sam is a pessimist, preparing for the future, but that six-point cushion in League Two over Tranmere Rovers and Sutton United doesn’t look too bad right now.
Barrow load of laughs
As Colchester United are in League Two, please forgive me for mentioning George Ray of Barrow. Admittedly, Barrow were in the National League as recently as 2020, but George is something of a League Two comedian. This week’s joke from George is, ‘What do you call a woman in the middle of a tennis court?’ Answer: Annette. Keep ‘em coming, George. There’s always a job at the Non-League Review if Barrow don’t offer you a new contract.
Path to glory
We don’t often look overseas in this column, but when Central Coast Mariners travelled to Perth Glory, their trip was worthy of note. The two clubs are over 2500 miles apart and, according to Google, a 42-hour drive away – or a 35-day walk. Who walks 71 miles per day? One assumes not too many fans
made the journey from Sydney to Perth except by plane, perhaps. Are there any more distant domestic games?
Route One tactics
In the North West Counties League Division One, you will currently find Route One Rovers in seventh place. The Keighley-based club may not be topping the table, but several things make this club stand out. Firstly, I am not sure that any other club has all grey as its home strip; the sleeves are a lighter grey. Do they ever need a change strip? The club has played 19 league games this season but without a draw; they’ve had 11 wins and 8 defeats. However, living up to their Route One name, at least in some way, they are the league’s highest scorers with 55 goals and the fourth-highest conceders, shipping more goals than any other team except the bottom three. Their 4-1 win over Nelson at the weekend keeps them in the promotion race. There was no victory for Nelson.
Whitby unable to turn off the gas
Bristol Rovers hammered Whitby Town 7-2 in the FA Cup, but the Seasiders can be proud of their effort, particularly after an equaliser sent the visiting fans wild early in the game. The strangest moment of the game came in the 86th minute when the referee showed Whitby Town’s kitman, Mark Bell, a yellow card for sitting down. It seems the referee dropped a clanger – or did Mark, as kitman, drop a hanger?
