Pressure Cooker
Two new managers faced each other as bottom-of-the-league Darlington faced Gloucester City, a somewhat less likely northern club, in the National League North. John Gowling was in charge of his first game at Darlington, while Mike Cook returned to manage the Tigers as the Gloucester City boss. 
The result was a 1-1 draw, which left both teams in the relegation spots in the division. Onwards and upwards is the hope for both the new managers. Interestingly, besides Darlington, the bottom five of Bishops Stortford, King’s Lynn, Peterborough Sports and Gloucester City are all nearer Brighton on the South Coast than Newcastle in the north.
BOGOF
If you are going to get sent off for a terrible foul, you might as well take two players out before the red card appears. This was an impressive effort from an Argentinian full-back. See video. Although it’s admittedly a tenuous link, on my recent travels to the Philippines, they have a different way of offering BOGOF. They just have signs saying, “Buy One Get One”. Isn’t this just a normal purchase?
Having a ball
Our friends at Rising Ballers Kensington are through to the next round of the FA Vase, thanks to a successful penalty shootout against Wellingborough Whitworth. The FA Vase tie contested by teams with the longest names of the Second Round Qualifying ended the game at 1-1. I found a social media post which read, “Wellingborough Whitworth (or WW, for short) face the Rising Balls”. Aside from the fact that WW has more syllables than Wellingborough Whitworth, It didn’t seem that WW hit the high notes.
Vegetable market
The scoreline of the FA Trophy tie between Quorn and Leek Town sounds more like two vegetarians swapping food from their larder. Quorn 4 Leek 2. Reece Fyfe starred for Quorn; I expect he went bananas when Quorn scored two late goals to clinch a place in the Third Round Qualifying.
Move over Darling
Having mentioned Darlington, it’s time to move on to Darlington United, a club playing in the North Riding League Premier Division. After eight games, they have scored 24 points, conceding one goal. However, the ‘goals for’ column is most impressive, as they have scored 64 goals. They have scored more than ten on three occasions, achieving 19 against Northallerton Town Reserves and 11 against both St Marys 1947 Dormans and Fishburn Park. This weekend, they achieved a modest 6-0 win at Cleveland FC, while Stokesley can proudly claim to be the only team to score against the high-flyers. We’ll keep an eye on this team.
Bright sparks
Not many clubs have a ‘z’ in their name, but Curzon Ashton of the National League North is one of all too few. However, their 2-0 win this weekend over Brackley Town was remarkable for other reasons. Mahon and Spencer were the scorers, meaning you could say M&S: wearing posher clothes. Why? Because Waring, Poscha and Clothes are three other Curzon Ashton players. OK, so they still need to sign a player with the surname of Clothes.
Baby steps
The FA Trophy draw for the 3rd Round Qualifying has been made. Of course, I was hoping Quorn would face another food-related team. Unfortunately, if Long Eaton had come out of the hat one team earlier, they would be facing Quorn. However, my disappointment was tempered by the tie of the round, which must be Didcot Town v. Cribbs. I am sure Pampers will be looking to sponsor this one.
Initial problems
Steyning Town progressed in the FA Vase after a 4-2 win over AFC Whyteleafe, a reborn club I saw a few seasons ago. They now face Reading City at home
in the next round at their ground called The Shooting Field. Reading City are known as the Cityzens (not Citizens). The hero of Steyning Town’s win and man of the match was keeper Szendela Goetzke, pictured here with the ladies’ team keeper Ella Bates. Police are looking into the theft of two tracksuit tops.
VAR proof
I was amused to hear Sheffield United fans complaining that VAR clearly showed that a Newcastle United player should have been pulled up for handball immediately before a Newcastle goal. Also, whether the ball stayed in play as it was pulled back from the byeline is questionable. I trust the Premier League officials will change the score from 0-8 to 0-7.
Welsh Dragons
The draw for the Second Round of the Welsh Trophy took place last week. One tie caught my eye: the clash between Cardiff Corinthians and Cardiff Draconians. I hope the Corinthian spirit will be able to rise above the draconian behaviour of their visitors. The Nelson Cavaliers may win their tie against AFC Wattstown, showing some cavalier spirit. I am wondering why Lex XI can play in the tournament, though. Surely, a team named after a bingo call with such an overt reference is not permissible these days.
Two weeks to wait…
The Non-League Review takes a week’s break next week, but we’ll back with more nonsense on Tuesday 10th October. Enjoy the break!
