Sack the manager template
Managerial sackings have started across levels of football. We have sent this Twitter template to all non-League clubs as a free service. They can use the template whenever a club has a ‘Club Statement’ as it usually appears on Twitter. It reads, “The management team of [insert club] wish to notify everyone that [insert name] has been relieved of his duties as the manager of [insert club]. The management team would like to thank [insert name] for his hard work and contribution to [insert club]. A further announcement will be made in due course”. We are now working on the ‘Further announcement’ template.
Dragged through the mud
An excellent tweet by Emley after their 1-1 draw with Albion Sports in the Northern Counties League East Premier Division. The Albion Sports’ keeper was
spotted kicking the goalpost before taking a goal kick. That’s nothing unusual about that, as getting the mud off boots is always best before taking a goal kick. However, it was a plastic pitch.
Hands up
We’ve spoken exclusively to a top non-League manager, who revealed what signals players taking corners give to their teammates. If a corner-taker raises his right arm, the intention is for the ball to land somewhere in the middle of the penalty area. When he raises his left arm, the intention is for the ball to land somewhere in the middle of the penalty area. If he raises both arms, the intention is for the ball to land somewhere in the middle of the penalty area. What happens, you might ask, when he raises both arms and then lowers one arm? This means the corner-taker has changed his mind.
Sack the manager template used
Football managers seem to come and go after months or even weeks sometimes. Two or three defeats on the trot, and the manager’s job is under threat. Once in a while, there are exceptions. At Poole Town, this had not been the case, though. After seven games this season, they sit in the mid-table of the Southern League Premier South Division with three wins and three defeats. However, the club sacked manager Tom Killick, who had been manager for 19 years. There’s a lot of support for Tom, who fell 25 games short of leading Poole Town in 1000 games. Matt Tubbs was named his replacement within 24 hours, sparking outrage among fans. A right killick in the teeth for Tom.
In the summertime
Last week, we reported the bizarre sending-off of Luke Summerfield, the Halifax player, who was accidentally struck in the face by the outstretched arm of the referee. In fending off the arm, he accidentally caught the ref in the face, who promptly sent him off. The good news is that the FA has quashed Luke’s red card. Presumably, the work of a shaman helped Luke.
Bouncing Czech
It’s not non-League stuff, and a fee of £17,500 is hardly big news in league football. However, Martin Podhajsky is set to make his debut for third-tier
Czech side FK Usti nad Labem, a third-tier Czech team. Whilst Martin is a decent FIFA computer game player, he has never played football. However, his father has paid the £17,500 fee so Martin can appear for ten minutes in the light blue shirt of FK Usti nad Labem. Chairman Premsyl Kuban has said anyone can play for that sort of fee.
Goal of the week
OK, one more non-non-League bit. The goal of the week was scored by Feyenoord, which nicely demonstrates how not to take a kick-off. Enjoy. https://twitter.com/i/status/1586355776666632193. Nonetheless, I just wish that Steve McLaren was commentating.
More 1874
In Review 80, we noted that two clubs had 1874 in their club name – Darlaston 1874 and 1874 Northwich. This extraordinary year brought Winston Churchill, Harry Houdini, Herbert Hoover and John D. Rockefeller Jr to the planet. But there’s more to this year. Biggleswade Town’s Twitter (or X) handle is @biggleswade1874, as they were founded that year. They even drop the ‘Town’ from their Twitter name when there is a rival club down the road called Biggleswade. Biggleswade Town’s rivals, Biggleswade, have the Twitter name @biggleswadefc1 – the club was founded in 1 AD, we can assume.
Vase arrangements
It’s the Second Round Qualifying of the FA Vase next weekend. Two ties are contested by teams that are newbies to the competition. Firstly, there are Heacham v. Dussindale & Hellesdon Rovers and Okehampton Argyle v. Bude Town. The Heacham tie takes place close to the short west coast of Norfolk, which means that the fans will be awash with enthusiasm. The Okehampton Argyle game means rivalries between Devon and Cornwall can occur. Good luck to all four teams as they aim to make the First Round Proper.
Black Country black day
Walsall and Wolverhampton Wanderers have been rivals from either side of the M6 for many years. As for Walsall Wood of the Northern Premier League Midlands Division, they had a nasty reminder of local rivalries last weekend. They travelled to Loughborough Dynamo and were soundly beaten 4-0. To make it worse, three of The Moes’ goals were scored by debutant Rio Molyneaux. It was a Wolverhampton connection they won’t want to recall. By the way, try saying Walsall Wood five times after a couple of pints. Is it just me who starts repeating the Polish capital? Yes, I know the joke – what’s the capital of Poland. Answer: P. Sack the editor; there’s a template somewhere.
