Colne’s fixtures
Although Colne are not alone, they face the prospect of playing ten games in fifteen days due to the appalling weather, including four games on consecutive days. Moreover, the FA have threatened Colne with relegation if they fail to complete their games by April 20th. We are hoping that Coventry City reach the Championship Play-off Final and the FA Cup Final for games scheduled for consecutive days at Wembley. Presumably, Coventry will be relegated to League One if they fail to play one of the games. The FA claims that rearranging games so that all teams play their last game on the
same day is a problem. Surely, if you move the last week’s games all back one week, that gives scope to fit in three more games. Simples.
Barking up the wrong tree
There was an arboreal feel to the Northern Premier League fixture between Coleshill Town and Hinckley Leicester Road. The game ended with a 5-3 away win for Hinckley LR. However, there was potential for squabbling over the match ball. Spruce scored Coleshill Town’s three goals, and Nuttall scored four of Hinckley LR’s. The nickname of Hinckley LR is the Knitters. It wouldn’t sound right if they changed it to the Knutters, I suppose.
Plyr wth n vwls
We have had a request to find a player with no vowels in his name. It’s not an easy task, particularly as we can’t find anyone with the surname Ng playing in non-League football. However, by chance, I noted that a chap called Bradley Stokes joined a club called Bradley Stoke Town a few years ago. We’re now searching for a Paul Tonrovers, Graham Street-Prims, Stan Sted, Mal Verntown, Brandon United, Milton Keynes-Robins, Chester Lestreet, Arun Del, K Sports, Ken Nington, Dudley Town, Kirby Muxloe, Roy Stontown, Al Ton, Mat Lock. There must be more.
Out for a duck
Of course, ducks only quack and don’t tweet, but I did like a tweet from my friends at Aylesbury United this week. It read, “The Ducks kick the game off”. After which, it gave the score Kidlington 0-0 Ducks. No surprises there, then. Do Aylesbury United often go a goal down in the first minute and, therefore, need to reassure fans that the score is still 0-0?
Ro-Stars winning Herefordshire League after 17 undefeated games
Ro-Stars Hereford, a newly-formed club, have taken the Zzoomm Herefordshire Football League Division Two by storm this year. They have clinched the title with three games remaining, dropping only two points on the way to AFC Worcester City. The most recent result was an 8-1 win away to Leominster Town Mens Colts. We are unsure why they are called Ro-Stars, although an online gamer reports that Ro-
Stars is similar to Brawl-Stars. I’m not sure there is a connection.
City slackers
Welwyn Garden City were lamenting that only 105 people turned up on a Thursday night to watch a local derby against Barton Rovers in the Southern League Division One Central fixture. There were almost no counterattractions on the night (I’m not talking Dragons Den). The most disappointing thing was that Welwyn offered free admission with a view to punters donating to charity. Welwyn Garden City fans ate three pies in total to Barton Rovers’ two, which coincidentally was the same as the final score. The result keeps Welwyn Garden City in with a chance of the play-offs.
MI5 sponsorship
It came as a bit of a surprise to us that MI5 is sponsoring a non-League club. On the front of the Dulwich Hamlet shirts is the word Defected. Now, we know that Dulwich Hamlet fans drink more beer at their ground than any other club in the world (at least, that was my observation). It would be easy to assume that a group of Russians that have defected to the West are behind the Defected sponsorship. That is until we learnt that ‘Defected’ refers to Defected Records, lists presumably safeguarded by MI5. Who said non-league football wasn’t rock ‘n’ roll?
Sent to Coventry
Hamad Al Selem is the new proud owner of Coventry United, a mid-table club playing in the Uhlsport United Counties Premier League South Division. Coventry United can rightfully claim to be Coventry’s third-ranked team after Coventry City and Coventry Sphinx, who play in the Northern Premier League Midlands Division. You just wonder if Hamad Al Selem thinks he has bought Coventry City – watch this interview on Coventry and Warwickshire Radio. Oh, and let’s not forget Coventry United’s great history and branding (to quote Mr Al Selem), which started in 2013. Oops.
Funny names
A new reader who sounds more like a Great Train Robber (you’d need to be old enough) goes by the name of CoshamNow. It appears that Review 107 was his first read of these reviews, and he generously says that he found some of the back issues ‘quite interesting’. However, he asked us what the funniest names for non-League teams are. How about Westward Ho Ho Ho! (with an exclamation mark as well), Llantwit Major (very Monty Python – you’d need to be old enough) and Bishops Itchington is an old favourite. Any other offerings are welcome.
A married couple
There have been a few bits recently about players with girls’ names, but how about a club with a male and female name? Well, of course, we have Virginia Walter (yes, I know) of the Cherry Red Combined Counties Premier League North Division. If any VWFC fans tell you that they’ve played at Wembley this season, don’t get over-excited; it
was against Wembley FC. Then again, there is Kings Lynn Town and Heather St John’s.
Wembley finals
Solihull Moors beat Bromley 2-1 in the FA Trophy, and Gateshead defeated Macclesfield to decide the final line-up. In the FA Vase, Lincoln United and Romford played out two draws over two legs. One of the Romford players apparently had a ‘funny feeling between the legs’. He probably should have kept that information to himself. Romford won 10-9 on penalties to clinch a final place against Worcester City or Great Wakering Rovers.
A brandy to finish
There’s nothing like a decent brandy to round off a good day. I can personally recommend Romél Aarons Royal, a rather fine one, although a bit pricey at £90 for a bottle. Actually, Romél Aarons Royal is a Brentwood Town player who scored from a free kick for his club in their 3-1 win over Grays Athletic. Cheers.
