Arctic Roll
Do you ever cringe at someone making a spelling error on social media? (Note to self: carefully check spelling in this week’s review). I quite liked the joke made by the social media person at Cray Valley Paper Mills. On Twitter, the club showed a picture of a snow-covered
pitch with the caption, “Still plenty of frozen ice at the Artic Stadium”. It would be picky to mention that ice is always frozen, but the joke about ‘Arctic Stadium’ was good, even though it had ‘Arctic’ spelt with a missing ‘c’. I have to admit that I cringed at this spelling error. However, it transpires that I am the idiot; Cray Valley Paper Mills actually play at the Artic Stadium.
Leiston, one of five
Due to the weather, only 5 of 32 FA Trophy ties took place this weekend. One of the games that survived was Folkestone Invicta v Leiston. It was good to see Leiston, a club I met on my travels last season, win 4-1 on penalties after a 1-1 draw. Last season, Leiston had a tough time at windswept Bishop’s Stortford on a day when there was the distraction of planes making dicey attempts to land at nearby Stansted Airport. Good luck to the Blues as they get a step closer to Wembley.
Stats overload
I’ve found the statistics that appear on the TV screen during World Cup games hard work, to be honest. What is ‘possession in contest’? Is
this something to do with players going through messy divorce settlements? Of course, I will be using a new set of stats for the latter rounds of the FA Trophy this season.
The new FA Trophy stats
Here are the stats you can look forward to (the stats about the stats will follow):
- Net throw-in progression quotient – distance between one throw-in and the next throw-in as a ratio of the opposition’s most recently recorded distance.
- Linesman flag speed variance – the difference between the speed at which the two linesmen raise their flags.
- Corner-flag shielding effectiveness – the percentage of the ball’s surface that timewasters who take the ball to the corner flag expose to an opponent as calculated from 50 different camera angles.
- Corner flag flutter – how much each corner flag is rippling in the wind (note: France always win at World Cups when the flags in the half they are defending have a low corner flag flutter score).
- Inverse reception turnovers – I’m not quite sure what this is myself. I think I’ll need to ask my accountant.
Reviews
Two reviews of From Hashtag United to Wembley appeared this week. One written by Richard Burton, the author of the rather excellent Burtons Blog, appeared as a double-page spread in last Saturday’s Charlton Athletic programme. You can see it here in Richard’s blog. Another appeared on the footballbookreviews.com website. You can find the review of From Hashtag United to Wembley here. Thanks to both reviewers.
Zooton Town
The animals in the names of teams item in last week’s review sparked a response. Jason Anonymous wanted to know if he is the only person in the world who considers these sorts of puzzles when he is in a pub with his mates. Good gracious, Jason. Is there another reason to go to a pub? He claims to have spent a couple of hours a year or so ago with friends, considering Premier League, Football League and Scottish teams with animals in their names.
More animals
Jason offered West Hamster, Cowdenbeath, Lamberton Academicals, Dogenham & Redbridge, Queens Pork Rangers, Uddersfield Town, Lynxcoln City and Cheetahborough United. Besides the fact that pork and udders are not animals, I can’t help thinking if that took you and your friends a couple of hours, Jason, I can assume you were playing pool at the same time. Jason did add that Tranmeerkat Rovers was their favourite and ‘there may have been others’. We pass no comments on here.
Christmas Day football
With no football in the UK on Christmas Day, hardcore football fans are left wondering what to do after eating and drinking too much. As
recently as 1965, football games took place in the Football League. That year, Blackpool beat Blackburn Rovers 1-0, and Wrexham lost 5-3 to Coventry City. Football in Scotland lasted on Christmas Day for another 11 years.
Turkey for Christmas
If you need to watch live football on Christmas Day, a flight across Europe is all you need. On Christmas Day, Adana Demirspor v. Fatih Karagümrük is one of four games in the Turkish Super Lig. Of course, if you prefer to stay at home, why not turn off the TV, open a copy of From Hashtag United to Wembley, and fall asleep while reading it?
Result of the week
This week’s result of the week comes from the Lock Stock Ardal North West Division. Flint Mountain lost 2-1 to Llangefni Town in a Friday night game. You wonder when the captains toss up before the game whether the decision to kick uphill or downhill is a crucial choice at Flint Mountain.
They think it’s all over – not just the stats
In Paris, they will be singing “ne pleure pas pour moi, argentine”. However, it was obvious that Argentina had their name on the cup as soon as they lost to Saudi Arabia. I guess you could say it was inevitable. Thank you, and good night.
There will be no Weekly Review until the New Year, as Lord Rophy (he’s not really a lord, we just have to call him that) has given everyone an extended Christmas holiday this year. Happy Christmas, everyone.
