Fat Rophy has his opinions…
(but they don’t reflect other opinions on this website)
Saturday 31st December 2022
An email from John, a follower in Suffolk, says that every Christmas, he is reminded of his Sunday morning football days. He played in the early 1970s for a club called Deer Park Spirit. However, first of all, a little bit of education for younger readers as John refers to Deer Park Spirit’s half back line. In the days of the standard 2-3-5 formation, shirt numbers 4, 5 and 6 were occupied by the half back line. The three players in Deer Park’s half back line were Good, King and Wanless. It’s not quite Good King Wenceslas, but it’s damn good effort. As a Charlton supporter, I recall Charlton’s back three was Fish, Costa, Fortune in their Premier League days. Any others out there?
Sunday 11th December 2022
If you fancy watching a football game live on Christmas Day, all you need to do is to take a flight to Turkey, where there are four leagues taking place. It all seems very appropriate to me.
Thursday 8th December 2022
Someone has contacted us to claim that Brigg Town of the Northern Counties East League Division One are a more sensible club than Newcastle United and Notts County. Why? Well, like Newcastle United and Notts County, Brigg Town play in black and white stripes. However, Brigg Town take the nickname The Zebras and rightly ask the question have you ever seen a magpie with stripes? It’s a fair point that Fat Rophy will support.
Thursday 8th December 2022
The quiz brought a volley of replies. Jason Anonymous was (as usual) quick to claim glory by suggesting that Chiltern Hundreds must have a team. “Unbeatable”, he suggests. LincolnFan wrote to tell us that his Sunday team called Padgetts played in vermillion shirts and black shorts in the 1970s; this is a somewhat tenuous link. Meanwhile, Ringworm was looking for big numbers and concluded that Cammell Laird 1907 is the highest number among FA Trophy and FA Vase entrants. Lobbo suggested Nuneaton Borough should have been the first in the sequence. I think I’ve dug up a can of worms here. However, the Cammell Laird 1907 entry has turned my attention to animals in team names. Any offers?
Thursday 17th November 2022
Folkestone Invicta, Brentwood Town, Three Bridges, Sevenoaks Town, Leighton Town, Cheltenham Saracens. Q: What’s missing? A: 4, 5, 6, 9. Those are the numbers without teams in the FA Trophy or FA Vase. Any higher numbers?
Wednesday 16th November 2022
It didn’t take long. No sooner had the post about 73 being a reversible prime number, I was informed that a reversible prime number is more commonly known as an emirp. (Spellcheck thinks I want emirs) Further, 777 is related to 73. 777 = 3 × 37 × 7 = 21 × 37, where 37 is a concatenation of 3 and 7. Can we get back to non-League football, please?
Monday 14th November 2022
It seems that Jason Anonymous has become the self-appointed pun referee of the FA Trophy Review. “10 out of 10 for the Coals to Newcastle pun”, he writes. He goes on to say that he would have been proud of that one himself. However, last week’s “It’s time to put a frieze” pun ranked as “poor to middle at best”, earning a Craig Revell-Horwood-type rating of 3. However, Jason was more generous with last week’s finale. “The Atherton Collieries digging deep pun was a 7, or, even an 8”, he offered with some indecision. His final comment said that he looked forward to another coal pun – “would this be a story about Ashley Cole, Brad Pitt or a mine(o)r league?” I await next week’s scores on the doors.
Thursday 3rd November 2022
Just when I was beginning to wonder if Jason Anonymous was ill or had left the country, an email from Jason popped into my inbox. The “fatrophy.co.uk website looks ugly”, he opines, “because the FA Trophy trails you are following have not been updated”. Jason is, of course, right, and the matter has been fixed. A P45 has been given to the young trainee who made this error. However, Jason went on to say that the ‘Taking the Coals to Newcastle’ pun (see last week’s review) was the best pun yet. Well, that sounded good until Jason continues, “…it was worthy of the Edinburgh Festival where there are always some terrible puns”. Hmm. This has led to a high-level meeting of the Pun Committee this week to thrash out a suitable pun. You decide.
Thursday 27th October 2022
An email dropped into my inbox today. The sender had made the subject of the email ‘Are you Fat?’. Indeed, the ‘F’ of ‘Fat’ was a capital letter. As it was capitalised F, I assumed the email was a personal one checking that I am Fat Rophy rather than questioning my girth. I didn’t read the email carefully, but immediately hit the reply button and answered ‘Yes, I am’. There was something in the body of the email about being lethargic, irritable, lazy and having feelings of guilt. I’m not sure about the guilt part, but lethargic, lazy and irritable seemed to sum me up perfectly. Who was this person that seemed to know me so well? Was it a secret admirer? Seconds after replying ‘Yes I am’, another email arrived from the same sender, wanting ‘just $99’ to stop me from being lethargic, lazy and irritable. Even though I read the email carefully, I couldn’t find how much I would need to spend to remain lethargic, lazy and irritable. If it’s under $300, I’m in.
Sunday 16th October 2022
Dan from Watford wrote to us this week. Dan gave a lot of background before making his point. I was able to learn that Dan supports Watford sometimes, has two kids, moved to London in 2010, loves the FA Trophy Hound Twitter account (thank you), likes the website makeover (thank you) and will buy the book soon (thank you). Dan was amazed to read about Rising Ballers Kensington in last week’s Review. “More of a balls up”, opines Dan. “There (sic) defence was a mess from start to finish. How we only scored once is a mystery”. Thanks for the feedback, Dan. I’m none the wiser as to which team were playing Rising Ballers and whether one goal was enough to beat them. I’m all ears.
Wednesday 5th October 2022
In Weekly Review 44, it was stated that Doncaster City had applied to take part in the Scottish Cup, due to the 12th-century Treaty of Durham. In that treaty, Doncaster was handed over to King David I of Scotland, which makes Doncaster City’s application entirely reasonable. However, the article claimed that the application had been rejected. It didn’t take long for Doncaster City to tweet that this was fake news. It would seem that the application is still pending. As I said to my chiropractor recently, I stand corrected.
Tuesday 27th September 2022
Five minutes before Weekly Review 43 email and the post on Twitter went out, an email came from Jason Anonymous. Jason tells us that he played in a game where both teams turned out in red. The solution was easy, one team wore red and the others wore an assortment of shirts cobbled together. It was a game of reds versus non-reds. The red team’s keeper wore a distinct bright purple jumper, but this left the other keeper with nothing different to wear. The only thing he could find was a sweatshirt in yellow and back hoops, which he had worn to the ground. The keeper left in his green goalkeeper’s jersey at the end with a muddy yellow and black sweatshirt in his kitbag. Great story, Jason. Oh, and Jason assures me that he is not a time traveller. He checked to see if the Weekly Review was on the website where it appeared thirty minutes earlier.
Monday 26th September 2022
It’s been a week of complaints. John King wrote in to say that the article on Runcorn was most fascinating. John wanted to know how many beer glasses there were in the Lord Nelson pub and asked us to consider the pub might have been named have the road it was on, Nelson Road. He also wanted to know the name of the barmaid who served the last pint ever in the Lord Nelson – a bit sexist if I may say so, John. I’m not getting drawn into any debate about this one, but I have a feeling Mr King is taking the pee. Anyhow, long live the King.
Sunday 25th September 2022
Complaints piled in about the joke in Weekly Review 41 about bells and Doncaster Rovers Belles. “Hardly a joke”, said one reader. Ending the piece on “so I’m tolled” is about as cringey as it gets”, but it just goes to prove you can please everyone. Another reader who used a single underscore as his or her name complained, “Review 42 was too serious. I was looking forward to some jokes about Klaxon-on-Sea in Essex or Siren Alex Ferguson”. He or she went on to say, “…if you want my services as a scriptwriter, my rates are very…” GONG.
Monday 12th September 2022
The mention of Welwyn Garden City last week sparked a comment from someone calling himself or herself Good Citizen. The email begins “it’s great to see the boys get a mention in your reporting”. Welwyn Garden City are known as the Citizens, hence the correspondent’s name. It goes on to say that I would be welcome to WGCFC any time and can be guaranteed “a good time”. It ends, “Come on, Fatrophy, get on your bike”. Firstly, I do not own a bike and, secondly, Fat Rophy sounds better than Fatrophy, which sounds like a nasty illness. I’ll stick it on my to do list!
Thursday 1st September 2022
An email from Al D this week hit the inbox. Al wants to know why the Weekly Review has never featured Witton Albion, particularly as they beat Workington last weekend. It’s a fair question but, Al D, there are a lot of non-League teams out there, so it’s hard to mention them all. However, next week, Witton Albion will definitely get a mention after their game with FC United of Manchester. The email prompted me to check where Witton Albion play. I’ve discovered that to watch them play at home, I would have to drive to Northwich in Cheshire. By the way, Al D, do you drive an Al D?
Tuesday 17th August 2022
I’ve been worrying about Jason Anonymous all summer, but he is undoubtedly alive and well. Within minutes of tweeting this week’s Review, Jason had sent an email telling us that the Liversedge/liver sausage joke was used last season. I understand the boss has sacked the entire editorial team, but it’s his responsibility, in my opinion. Whilst the pun on Tom Jones’ songs is very amusing, Mr Anonymous, Fat Rophy does not want his reputation being tainted by being referred to as a ‘pussycat’. Thank you for the email nevertheless.
Monday 15th August 2022
Oldham Athletic played in the National League last Saturday winning 3-2. Their opponents were Dorking Wanderers, newly promoted to the National League. Many may forget that Oldham were a founder member of the Premier League in 1992. What about Dorking Wanderers in 1992? Well, they were founded in 1999 and joined the Crawley & District League. They leapt a few levels in the past 23 years.
Tuesday 9th August 2022
A rumour has been circulating that I am sponsored by London Zoo and have taken London Zoo to court. This is entirely untrue. The rumour seems to have arisen from a misunderstanding by an overworked young hack at a local paper. He heard that the FA Trophy is now sponsored by Isuzu. However as Fat Rophy is arguably better known than the FA Trophy itself, he made the sort of mistake that anyone can make. The young hack was sacked, of course.
Monday 8th August 2022
Fat Rophy is back for another season, bringing you all the news and non-news. It’s a slightly late start to the season, but contract negotiations between the management and me took longer than expected. Eventually, the management appreciated my true value. Stand by for more news.
Wednesday 25th May 2022
It’s a good thing that I check the weekly review thoroughly before it is published. However, this week, I was unable to do this and a young journalist reported that Wrexham will face Halifax or Chesterfield in the National League Semi-Final play-off this Saturday. In fact, it is Solihull Moors that play the winner of this tie, which turned out to be Chesterfield. Wrexham will face Grimsby Town after their win over Notts County. However, the BBC made a faux pas as well this week when ‘Manchester United are rubbish’ appeared on TV screens – watch it here. I guess the difference is that the Beeb’s reporting was accurate whereas the FA Trophy Review wasn’t.
Sunday 22nd May 2022
I am, of course, on an expenses-paid trip to Wembley to witness the FA Trophy Final. I am staying in a top hotel on the Wembley complex – well the Premier Inn, actually, because the owners are so tight-fisted. However, last night was pure magic in the hotel bar. Celebrating Sunderland fans mixed with arriving Wrexham fans, which was fine. And, then, a bunch of old farts carrying their Andre Rieu programmes arrived in their jackets and ties/long dresses from the Wembley Arena. What a fine cross-section of the public there was to see. I’m not sure the Andre Rieu fans would agree. Still, it might be part of Boris’s levelling up programme. By the way, how do you pronounce Rieu? It seems to me like the sort of sound Sunderland fans might have been making after 15 pints and 10 shots.
Monday 16th May 2022
A reader of our column, Don from Hull, wrote in to tell us that he spotted Fat Rophy in the Prospect Shopping Centre in Hull. According to Don, there was a person of similar build to Fat Rophy, wearing an ill-fitting hooped top and shorts. As far as Don could tell, the person he spotted only three fingers on his right hand. Don claims he has won the Spot the Fat Rophy competition and claims his £10,000 prize. I think Don is mistaken.
Sunday 8th May 2022
A Halifax Town fan wishes to point out that his club has only been mentioned once on the FA Trophy website all season. And, to make matters worse, the only time was in a pathectic (sic) pun in the post that had 26 clubs hidden. And, to make matters even worse, Halifax was couched in the pun “Ali, facts”. It hardly works as a pun, the fan claims. Of course, this misses the important point that Halifax Town scraped past the inferior opposition of Bradford (Park Avenue) and Alfreton Town on penalties in the FA Trophy before succumbing to Notts County. I’m not sure they deserve a mention, to be honest. Of course, this can be rectified. A decent mention on FC Halifax Town’s website or The Halifax Bank’s website and it’s a guaranteed full-page spread on fatrophy.co.uk. Come on, give a little extra.
Monday 2nd May 2022
I didn’t respond to one email last week about the fact that the Weekly Reviews are numbered sequentially, even when a week is missed. The argument goes that as there was no Weekly Review over Easter, the numbering should have skipped a number. At our next committee meeting, I will propose that the Weekly Review 33, for example, is called Weekly Review Issue 33. I’ll just wait for the email that tells me that it’s not a weekly review if it’s not weekly. How about Review Issue 33? Does anyone care?
Saturday 30th April 2022
Just when you think things have quietened down in the FA Trophy, Jason Anonymous pops up and asks me, “do I think Wrexham will have the double?” This question is, of course, a reference to Stockport County appearing to choke when it looked as though they had the automatic promotion spot to the Football League in the bag. Stockport have a tricky week ahead. They travel to Chesterfield on Monday 2nd May and then head to Wrexham next Sunday. So, Wrexham achieving the double of the National League and the FA Trophy is a real possibility. Of course, if Jason is talking about the doubles consumed in Wrexham bars, there is no question about the answer to that one, particularly if they beat Stockport.
Thursday 22nd April 2022
According to the website statistics, the readership of the last week’s Weekly Review hit extraordinary levels in Mexico. It’s possible that a lot of Mexicans follow the fortunes of Lee Erwin of the Finnish side, Haka, but I think it’s more like that a lot of Mexicans follow Tractor that well known Iranian side. The only other explanation is that Rophy is an antidepressant available in Mexico, but I suppose if Erwin has left Tractor it is quite depressing for Mexican fans.
Sunday 17th April 2022
Following on from last week’s review when we revealed that Scottish-born Lee Erwin not only played for Leeds, Oldham and Honka, but Tractor in Iran, I have explored the names of Iranian clubs in more depth. You will find that the Iranian professional leagues include teams named Machine, Gostaresh Fool, Naft and, my favourite, Zob. Across the border in Iraq, you will find Al Talaba, Al Naft, Al Kahraba, Al Minaa, Al Shorta, Al Dente and Al Fresco.
Thursday 8th April 2022
It’s funny how things come back to the brain. As I was leaving the Wrexham v Stockport game, I walked for a while with a jubilant Wrexham supporter, who was probably in his 60s or early 70s. “I’m literally at Wembley already”, he said. I didn’t like to correct him as we trudged through Wrexham’s pedestrianised town centre. “I don’t care who we play. They’ll bring less fans than us”, he added. “Fewer”, I found myself saying, as he veered left in to the Wetherspoons pub.
Wednesday 7th April 2022
Following on from this week’s Weekly Review which featured FC United of Manchester, I can reveal that FC United went to Brera FC in Italy and won 3-1. I found this information from a Russian website (www.fcunited.ru), which is curious. Indeed, on visiting the website, the video page is overlaid with disturbing pictures of the war in Ukraine. You have to click a ‘Stop the War’ button to be able to view the content. Curious.
Wednesday 30th March 2022
Approximately, 45 seconds after this week’s weekly review was posted, Jason Anonymous blew the dust off his mouse and was at his keyboard. “I’m intrigued by the wifi dogs”, he began. “I assume the dog must be an Airwavedale”. Although everyone will have to wait another week to learn about wifi dogs in Wrexham, I can tell you that it is not a Rottweiler even though a bite from one of them megahurts.
Monday 28th March 2022
When Dover Athletic took a 5-2 lead at mighty Wrexham on Saturday, it looked as though the Whites were on their way to their first away league win of the season. It all changed though when Ollie Palmer struck two goals to make it 4-5, leaving Jordan Davies to bring a surprise home win in added time with two late goals. So, it was 6-5 in Wrexham’s favour. I can’t see a repeat of such a scoreline in this week’s semi-final against mighty Stockport County. These two clubs now occupy the top two spots in the National League.
Wednesday 23rd March 2022
A reader of our weekly review has defended the quality of curries in Wales and assures me that a curry in Wrexham will be first class. However, things are getting quite competitive, it would appear. The reader claims that it will be better than the one in Stockport as curries in Greater Manchester tend to be bland. This statement seems to add a bit more spice (and another chilli) to the eagerly-awaited Wrexham v Stockport FA Trophy semi-final. I’ll make my judgement after my visit to Wrexham. I just hope readers of this column don’t find this all very dahl, but the correspondent seems like a decent chapati.
Wednesday 16th March 2022
A Stockport supporter, who kindly provided their full name (first, middle and last name) has been in contact. JKR, as I will call her to protect anonymity, wanted to make it clear that she had been wearing her blue shirt and scarf around Needham Market from around 10.10 a.m. and. like me, was also in The Angel cafe at 11.30 a.m. I have no reason to doubt JKR’s claim; I just didn’t see any blue before midday. However, I’m curious to know if she was one of the group knocking back the 24 shots (see match report). JKR, to use her initials, is not J.K. Rowling for those wondering; I don’t think J.K. Rowling supports Stockport, plus it seems unlikely that she would make two spelling errors.
Note: Yes, we know it’s sorceror and phoenix.
Thursday 10th March 2022
After sending out the Weekly Review, it was a matter of minutes before someone replied that saying Needham Market was 6 to 7 miles northwest of Ipswich was not particularly helpful if you were unsure where Ipswich is. So, let me help our reader. The best way to locate Ipswich is by travelling 6 to 7 miles southeast from Needham Market. Alternatively, walk in a straight line east from Milton Keynes or northeast from Portsmouth. Alternatively, walk and, when necessary, swim due north from Folkestone and you really can’t miss it. Finally, you charter a plane and fly due east from Calgary in Canada and you will get a fine view of Ipswich.
Monday 7th March 2022
Jason Anonymous has a good memory. He recalls much earlier in my FA Trophy trail, there was much talk about teams with meat products in their name. He points out that the Needham Market v Stockport County tie has got it all – ham with port to follow. I just need to remember which way you pass the ham. Further, Notts County entertain Wrexham, another ham, as well as Dagenham & Red Wine facing York Ham. And, then, Jason’s big moment when he spotted the moo in Solihull Moors.
Wednesday 2nd March 2022
I’ve been doing some research on the nicknames of non-League teams this week. When Notts County play Maidenhead United in the National League, The Magpies play The Magpies. But, they are plenty of good nicknames. Brightlingsea Regent are unfortunately nicknamed the Rs. Do supporters really shout “Up the Rs”? Coggeshall Town are called the Seed Growers while Ashford United are known as The Nuts & Bolts. Animal nicknames are plentiful – Guernsey are The Green Lions, Binfield are The Moles, Ramsgate are The Rams, Hyde United are The Tigers as are Worksop Town. Grantham Town are charmingly called The Gingerbreads and Lancaster City are more strangely known as The Dolly Blues. Morpeth Town are The Highwaymen and Slough Town are The Rebels. I’ll be looking for some soon!
Thursday 24th February 2022
Link Ken, who is coincidentally a Lincoln City supporter, was excited to read the item about the lack of twin strikers in football these days. However, he has written to us about Lincoln’s Ben House and Tom Hopper. He hopes House-Hopper could be a regular twin striker partnership for The Imps as it conjures an image for him of someone moving from one squat to another. Good effort, Ken, but it doesn’t compare to Charlton’s back three at one time of Fish, Costa, Fortune.
Tuesday 22nd February 2022
Dave, a supporter of Notts County, enjoyed last week’s Valentine-themed weekly review (subscribe here). “What a weekend. Well, almost”, enthused Dave. He was delighted with Notts County’s win at Halifax and equally chuffed that County will now face Wrexham in the quarter-finals at home. “Hope we stuff them”, growled Dave. However, he particularly liked the Valentine’s Day Wordsearch (near the bottom). His girlfriend, Tasha, was charmed when he read the first line of the Wordsearch – “Blovepolt”. I’m not sure Dave has got the idea of how Wordsearch works, but Tasha apparently found Dave saying “Blovepolt” in a sexy Russian accent overwhelming (I’ve paraphrased that bit). When he read the vertical words, however, Tasha, it would seem, was turned off. I pronounced ‘Pucedcacr’ as ‘Puced cacker’. “What?” screamed Tasha. It killed the romance in the room stone dead. Maybe, stick to roses next year, Dave.
Thursday 17th February 2022
No sooner had this week’s Weekly Review hit the doormats of the nation, or whatever it does in an email inbox, and Jason was speedily hitting the reply button. “You are absolutely right!” opened Jason. “I don’t like anything with a silent first letter”. He went on to say that he didn’t really like Wrexham (no reason given), but hated Knutsford because he was blamed for a motorcycle accident in Knutsford that wasn’t his fault. Fair enough, Jason, but I write with honesty and wrily, although your wrath wrangles me but psychology gnaws away at those who honour wretched writers. I’ve got this feeling that Jason will reply, “you knob”. I’m expecting a tsunami of mail now. Good knight.
Friday 11th February 2022
Jason Anonymous is still alive and well. We hadn’t heard from Jason for a while. I suspected he had been having dinner with Sean Penn and the like. He tells us that following last week’s review, he realised that teams beginning D and W were best. He had a good craic in Dumbarton as a young man and Dunfermline is well-liked for less clear reasons. And, as Jason says, how can you not like Darlington? As for Ws, he’s a bit more vague, but I’ll ready for the next email to report back.
Friday 4th February 2022
This week’s review prompted an email from someone called A. Grimsbyfan. Mr Grimsbyfan coincidentally supports Grimsby Town. Mr G, it seems, has a hatred of teams beginning with B. He sincerely hopes Boreham Wood stay in the Conference and Bromley lose at Tonbridge Angels in the FA Trophy 5th Round. I’m wondering if last week’s Weekly Review prompted this when B words were discussed. Mr G favours York City or Wrexham as favoured winners of the FA Trophy. You will note that both teams alphabetically are at the opposite end to Boreham Wood and Bromley. Mr G adds “don’t ask me about other teams that play in stripes”. Other than Grimsby, I assume. No, we won’t ask.
Sunday 30th January 2022
Prescot Cables may be struggling in the Northern League West Division but they got a good win this week – thanks to Jack Goodwin. He scored the only goal in a 1-0 win away to 1874 Northwich. Prescot Cables come from Prescot, believe it or not, which is close to St Helens. All we want to know is if Jack Badloss was in the Northwich goal, but I somehow doubt it.
Tuesday 25th January 2022
Headline writers for the Cinderford Town v Barnstaple Town game had to do some last-minute editing last Saturday. With ten minutes left, Barnstaple Town were leading 2-0, thanks to goals from Adam Hill and William Tucker. Then, Zac Drew popped up to make it 2-1. With two minutes left, Drew scored again, making it easy for the headline writer in the sports department of the Cinderford Chronicle. But, deep into injury time, Zac spoilt it by completing his hat-trick. Zac’s life, I guess.
Sunday 23rd January 2022
Someone wrote to complain about the St Albans v Cheshunt report. There was a query about the relevance of Olives & Samphire in a football report and the implausibility of a team called Olives & Samphire. Who would have predicted Hashtag United would be a football team ten years ago? It seems the reader would prefer more news about Dagenham & Redbridge, Havant & Waterlooville, Bowers & Pitsea or, even, Felixstowe & Walton United. Instead, we offer the news this week that the bowls club in Felixstowe is known as Felixstowe & Suffolk Bowls Club, which is curious, given that Felixstowe is in Suffolk. Thank you for your letter, anyway. Enjoy your gin & tonic tonight before your bangers & mash tonight.
Thursday 13th January 2022
A correspondent, who called himself or herself ‘A’, presumably supports Stockport County. ‘A’ wrote at length, but started by pointing out there was a bias towards the underdogs in this week’s review as Larkhall Athletic, County’s opponents, were wished ‘good luck’. ‘A’ went on to suggest that he or she had “probably visited all 32 towns” in the 4th Round draw. I wasn’t convinced as Larkhall was referred to as “a small place down South“. And, if you are thinking of driving to see Spennymoor Town this weekend, ‘A’ advises that they “play in a corner of the country“. Who needs satnav with directions like that? Returning to the Larkhall tie, ‘A’ hoped that County would give them “a decent thrashing” and send them “packing back down South“. Let’s hope it’s not an indecent thrashing.
Monday 10th January 2022
Of course, Jason Anonymous came back in an instant after my post on Friday. He wanted to clarify that he and his wife have met not only Russ Penn and Sean Penn but also Mark R Penn. This frankly seems unlikely to me. However, around Christmas on a night when the moon shone brightly, unlikely as it may sound, I met D. Penn and Chris Penn even.
Friday 7th January 2022
Jason Anonymous is back after his Christmas break. He is delighted to tell us that he has met Russ Penn, the Kidderminster Harriers’ manager and owner of Phil Neville’s sweaty Everton shirt. But, there’s more. He has also met Sean Penn. And, there’s even more. So, has his wife, but it’s not clear if she has met both Russ Penn and Sean Penn or just Sean Penn. I’m sure I’ll find out soon. I’m also expecting an invite round to dinner in the near future.
Wednesday 5th January 2022
The staff at Buckingham Palace seem to be in full swing after the Christmas break. I have scoured the New Year’s Honours List, but I couldn’t find Fat Rophy anywhere in the list. Assuming this must be an oversight, I called Buck Palace and a very helpful lady said that she would check it for me and get back to me. I wasn’t expecting a knighthood, of course, but I assume they will track down my MBE for services to non-League football soon.
Wednesday 5th January 2022
I usually get paid £10 for every post I make on this website. It’s not much, but it helps to make ends meet. However, when I checked the small print in my contract, I noticed that I get £20 if I post on a public holiday as long as the post is more than 100 words. So, here are some scores from New Year’s Day. Slimbridge 3 Mangotsfield United 5. Ramsbottom United 1 Mossley 2. 1874 Northwich 1 Runcorn Linnets 2. Cleethorpes Town 1 Bridlington Town 1. Ossett United 1 Brighouse Town 0. Kempston Rovers 1 Biggleswade 1. 100 words!