No Highland Fling in Scotland
You might wonder why Doncaster City applied to join the Scottish Cup next season. Knowledgeable historians will be aware that the 12th-century Treaty of Durham between Scotland and England means that Doncaster is still officially part of Scotland after being handed to King David I of Scotland. However, the application has been turned down, unfairly in Doncaster City’s opinion. Meanwhile, Welsh clubs, TNS and Caernarfon town, have been accepted into Scotland’s SPFL Trust Trophy competition. Should Fat Rophy lead a campaign to get Doncaster City in the Scottish Cup?
Under Pressure
FIFA Law 14 states that goalkeepers must not touch the crossbar, posts or net before a spot kick. Further, the law forbids goalkeepers from shouting at the penalty-taker. One referee who recently allowed such breaches allegedly referred to these misdemeanours as ‘only gamesmanship’. However, as far as our research team can find out, there is nothing to stop a goalkeeper from singing or sketching a cartoon caricature of the penalty-taker as long as the keeper remains behind the goal line. However, telling a vulgar joke could be construed as ungentlemanly conduct, so wordplay, puns and witty rhymes would be acceptable. Now, where are the lyrics to Under Pressure.
Rag and Dead
Wroxham‘s Brad Spooner scored a cracker in the dying minutes against Felixstowe and Walton United to draw an Isthmian League Division One game 2-2. Interviewed after the game, he said he was delighted to score against Welixstowe and Falton and looked forward to facing a National League team one day like Rag and Dead. We are still trying to ascertain whether Wroxham had fallen behind due to a mistake by their goalkeeper, Freud.
Costa Bravo
The FA Cup 3rd Round Qualifying threw up an Essex local derby between Romford and Chelmsford City. After a goalless first half, Chelmsford romped to
a 5-0 away win thanks mainly to a hat trick from Khale da Costa. Chelmsford need to make a couple of signings to match Charlton Athletic’s back three of the 1990s, Fish, Costa, Fortune.
Purple Haze
On Sunday, Man City fans celebrated while Man United fans had to face a 6-3 defeat at the hands of their local rivals. On Saturday, in the Northern Premier League West Division, City of Liverpool faced Trafford. 278 spectators witnessed CofL score three goals in eleven minutes in the first half. It looked plain sailing for the Purps, as they are known, until two late goals from Trafford’s Ben Finley caused McNally’s Army (easily confused with Klopp’s Army) to sweat out the last ten minutes. The final score was 3-2 to the Merseysiders. I have to confess I read CofL’s nickname as the Pups initially. I thought that, perhaps, they were dog-tired towards the end of the game; it turns out it was more a purple haze.
Checking on a From Hashtag to Wembley team
One of the teams I met on my FA Trophy trail last season was Needham Market. I only saw them once as they had to face mighty Stockport County in the FA Trophy Quarter Final. On the day, last season’s National League champions, Stockport, outclassed them. In the cups this season, Needham Market
have won three home FA Cup ties, the latest against Brightlingsea Regent by a 2-0 margin. Needham Market start their FA Trophy campaign this weekend against Stourbridge. They have had the luck of the draw with home ties this season as they are at home again in this competition. In the FA Cup, they have a fourth home tie against Maidstone United. A win in that game gives them the chance to face Football League opposition. Now, can we find an ancient treaty stating that Needham Market is in Scotland?
Final call
At was at Heathrow Airport recently on my way to the United States of America. I enjoyed one announcement. It went as follows: “This is the third final call for flight [flight number] to New York”. To increase the entertainment, a fellow passenger asked me, “are we boarding now?” As I was stationary at the time, it seemed like a daft question. When he took a felt-tipped pen from his pocket and started writing on me, I realised he probably wanted to know why I was stationery. Thank you and goodnight.
