Fat Rophy has his opinions…
(but they don’t reflect other opinions on this website)
Wednesday 29th December 2021
With the next featured tie in the FA Trophy being St Albans v. Cheshunt and much recent discussion about pronunciation, the tie has thrown up yet more questions. Larkhall Athletic contacted us via Twitter and informed us that St Albans is pronounced as “Snorbens”, while another avid reader wanted to know if there is a dot after the ‘St’ part of St Albans. We haven’t even got to whether Albans has an apostrophe or how it sounds a bit like all-bran, but there’s still over two weeks to go, so there’s plenty of time to sort these niceties out.
Thursday 23rd December 2021
I was worried about the health of Jason Anonymous as he had been strangely quiet for a couple of weeks, but within minutes of this week’s Weekly Review dropping through his letterbox (I think they are called inboxes these days), Jason was in contact with me. He wondered how I pronounced Fat Rophy. Well, assuming you are referring to the Rophy bit, it’s a long O, like Row-Fee. Rophy, as in rhyming with toffee, does sound a tad common, I agree. I am equally curious about your surname, though, Jason. I checked my old London phone directory which covers A-D and couldn’t find anyone with the surname Anonymous.
Monday 20th December 2021
So, there was no head on the block prediction for this round of the FA Trophy as the Maidenhead v Maidstone was called off due to Covid in the Maidenhead camp. It means that Maidstone United get a walkover. It also means that there will need to be a double head on the block (if you see what I mean) for the 4th Round. A two-headed monster, you might say.
Thursday 9th December 2021
There’s no FA Cup and no FA Trophy this weekend. However, the FA Vase moves into the 3rd Round Proper, which means that mouthwatering ties between the likes of Walsall Wood v Anstey Nomads and Wythenshawe Town and Billingham Synthonia take place. Don’t forget that there’s the big Midlands derby between Coventry Sphinx and Coventry United. The only ‘City’ left in the competition is Guildford City, but there are two ‘Abbey’ teams – Abbey Hey and Abbey Rangers; both have home ties. More news in the Weekly Review next week.
Thursday 2nd December 2021
The meaty teams are coming thick and fast now. Redmania (I guess his team plays in red) suggests Halesowen Town – it took me a second, but I can see that sow is in there. Kenny Stowmarket suggests Horsham – it’s almost horse and ham in one. Of course, if you are a vegetarian, you might come up with Nuneaton Borough.
Wednesday 1st December 2021
The best meat in the names of football teams brought a quick reply from Tania1974. As Tania, it seems, approaches 50, she came up with Ramsbottom United. Sadly, Ramsbottom United were butchered in an 8-0 defeat to Warrington Rylands last weekend. Any more entries?
Tuesday 30th November 2021
I had just enough time to drink a cup of tea after the Weekly Review 12 dropped into inboxes around the world. Sure enough, the inbox, as predicted, received a communication from Jason Anonymous. He informed me that the odds on Maidenhead and Maidstone were nothing like 1 in 63 as there is a north/south split in the 3rd Round of the FA Trophy, thus making it a 1 in 31 chance. Actually, there are 14 Northern ties and 18 Southern ties, thus making it 1 in 35. I think we are there now on this one. (Awaits email from Jason)
Wednesday 24th November 2021
It took a matter of minutes for this week’s Weekly Review to get a reaction. The topic, however, was not about football. It was a dissertation on rounded brackets, parentheses and square brackets. The email was from Jason Anonymous, of course, who was wrongly referred to as Justin Anonymous in the Weekly Review. He concludes his post as follows: “It [the presence of square brackets] is easy to understand. However, the reference to Justin (aka Jason) was a careless error“.
Thursday 18th November 2021
Jason Anonymous seems to wait until I go to bed to update me with his daily thoughts. Bored with discussions about fat, he has moved on to the King George Hen debate. He cites several errors in my post yesterday as follows: 1) The King George hen in Kennington laid three eggs (not two) 2) The eggs were laid at fine leg (not third man) 3) There is a contradiction. The Bishop’s Stortford v Chipstead report stated that the hen laid the egg after the goal whereas yesterday’s post referred to an egg laid in the first half (there were no goals in the first half). Perhaps, one egg was laid at two different times in the game. 4) Yesterday’s post referred to a “fine, local King George hen”, whereas the hen was fat (not that again) and from a distant land. Be assured, Jason, I have a team of researchers on to your amazing claims.
Wednesday 17th November 2021
Mr Ringworm kindly contacted us to question the reference to “King George of Wembley decided to lay on the pitch” in the Bishop’s Stortford v Chipstead report. Mr Ringworm seems to have forgotten the incident midway through the first half of the 1971 Arsenal v Liverpool FA Cup Final when a fine, local King George hen entered the field of play and laid an egg. However, he did correctly recall the goal that a long-haired Arsenal player called Charlie scored in extra time. It was not the first time that a King George hen had entered a sports field. Many will recall the time in Kennington when Sir Alec Bedser was bowling from the Vauxhall End when a King George hen laid two eggs at third man. The ground was subsequently renamed The Ova. Of course, Charlie George in that Wembley Final did lie on the pitch. Apparently, as he entered the field, he told his teammates that he would remain standing if he scored a goal. That’s all, yolks.
Wednesday 17th November 2021
Mr Jason Anonymous clearly has plenty of time on his hands. He also seems obsessed with things connected with fat. He cites three things. 1) If an overweight striker scored three times, it would be a fat-trick. 2) Substitutes are used when they are fatigued 3) If the FA Trophy was held in Western Australia, would there be a fatwa? Well, Mr Anon, thank you for your offering of unfathomable infatuation.
Monday 15th November 2021
A letter arrived this week from Jason Anonymous, a strange surname. It was addressed as ‘Dear Fats’. Firstly, I was not named after Fats Domino. Jason was now on a roll; you might call it the domino effect. The letter, if you can call it that, continued to say that my column should be called ‘Chewing the Fat‘, something even Mrs Rophy found a distasteful thought. He continued by asking if I was a ‘fat cat’. I’ll have a word with the WebHost about the idea of ‘Chewing the Fat‘ but ‘fat cat’ is certainly not appropriate. You should see how little I get paid for these ramblings. Thanks, anyway, Jason, but it’s time to get back to your Argonauts.
Wednesday 10th November 2021
There seems to be a growing interest in FA Trophy teams with punctuation marks in their name. Ampersands are two-a-penny – there are 10 teams in the competition – Rushden & Diamonds, Bowers & Pitsea, Dagenham & Redbridge, Felixstowe & Walton United, Hampton & Richmond Borough, Havant & Waterlooville, Hayes & Yeading, Maldon & Tiptree, Tooting & Mitcham United, Wingate & Finchley. When it comes to apostrophes, there are only two – Bishop’s Stortford and King’s Lynn Town (but not St Neots). Sadly, there are no teams with a hyphen in the FA Trophy, which is surprising when you have Newcastle-under-Lyme, Harrow-on-the-Hill and many more. The king of them all would have been Westward Ho!, but Westward Ho! Athletic changed their name in 1998 to Westward Bell Athletic without a sign of an ampersand. Needless to say, they disbanded two years later. It’s no wonder really.
Friday 5th November 2021
Richard444444 seems to have some spare time on his hands. In his third communication in as many days, Richard444444 tells me that in 1895 Royal Engineers played Blackburn Olympic. He claims that it is still the only time that two teams with Y as the third letter of one of their names have met in the FA Cup. I might be gullible, but come on, Richard.
Thursday 4th November 2021
The weekly review this week made reference to the first FA Cup tie ever between Y clubs, Yate Town and Yeovil Town. It had the subtitle of ‘Why Why Why’. Richard444444 contacted me to explain that the subtitle had one why too many. He suggested that it should have been ‘Why Oh Why’. This doesn’t make sense. It would need an unlikely triangular tournament between Yate Town, Oxford City and Yeovil Town, for example, for this heading. I must ask Richard – Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? Why? You see, I’m more wise than Richard.
Tuesday 2nd November 2021
Four games, four wins when @fatrophyhound has watched Chipstead this season. Chipstead have offered him a salary to come and watch all their games. I have a feeling his earnings from this website are so high that they won’t be able to afford him.
Monday 1st November 2021
FC United of Manchester got a mention last week, but only a mention. It was enough to inspire one fan with the name Ole Gunnar Disastjaer to write to me. Ole Gunnar’s offer was to write an article for me about the history of FC United of Manchester. I’m afraid I’ve already accepted an offer from FCUM’s splinter Sunday morning football club, AFC FC United of Manchester for a serialised version of their history. I think they won 13-1 last week, although the 12th goal was disputed as they haven’t got any nets yet.
Monday 25th October 2021
My new assistant starts next week to deal with the deluge of post that arrives every day. First of all, Denise, presumably a Dover Athletic supporter, was irate about my comment regarding Dover’s refusal to play after the 8.30 pm deadline (see ‘Play the game‘ post below). She pointed out that ‘8.30 was the deadline, Yate were late’ and reasoned ‘if a penalty is just outside the area, would you give a spot kick if you were referee? Rules is rules’. Two minutes later, another email arrived from Jed in Barrow, who merely told me to ‘Keep up’ after wrongly posting about Barrow being in the FA Trophy (see ‘Barrow fans should be angry‘ below). Fair enough, Jed. Finally, Mr Ringworm raised the topic of voiced and voiceless alveolar plosives. He’s clearly a dop tog in English. I’m putting Mr Ringworm in touch with Denise to explain that ‘rules is rules’ is flawed. I’m hoping someone else has the patience to explain that a penalty just outside the area isn’t a penalty or, maybe, I’m missing something. If Yate beat Dover this week, we can say that ‘Dover, it’s over”, Denise. You seem to like a good old rhyme. I need to lie down, I’m exhausted.
Friday 22nd October 2021
My bulging postbag has several letters asking me to pursue the postponement of the Yate Town v Dover Athletic tie last Tuesday. The referee found a problem with the lights and set three deadlines to get the lights fixed. The last deadline which was sanctioned by the F.A. was 8.30 pm. The lights were fixed by 8.34 pm according to Yate Town. The F.A. decided that as long as both teams agreed to play, the game could go ahead. Dover Athletic allegedly decided to pack their bags and head home up the M4. The game now takes place on Tuesday 26th October. Come on, Dover Athletic, what was the problem? There were over 500 fans in the ground, presumably some from Kent.
Friday 22nd October 2021
I put my hand up and admit an error. A fan of mine, possibly from the Outer Hebrides, called Ringworm pointed out that the loathed verdict anagram of Dover Athletic was flawed as the anagram had an extra ‘t’. Not, so, Sir. It was an extra ‘d’ in which case it should have been loathe verdict. As I said to my chiropractor, “I never thought you could cure my back pain, but I stand corrected”. Anyway, Mr I Wrong (that’s an anagram of Ringworm), enough littered havoc to detach liver or chatted live with lithe cavorted.
Tuesday 19th October 2021
Blooper by @fatrophyhound. He talked about going to Barrow in his Hashtag to Wembley quest. Not possible. Barrow are in League 2. It’s corrected now, of course.
Thursday 14th October 2021
It’s FA Cup week with the winners in the 1st Round Proper. Yate Town travel to Dover Athletic, the club that furloughed its players, and got fined heavily by the FA. Interestingly, an anagram of Dover Athletic is loathed verdict. Appropriate or what?
Wednesday 13th October 2021
There are four City teams in the 4th Qualifying Round of the FA Cup. Two of them are York City and Bath City. Can you name the other two? No cheating, please.
Thursday 7th October 2021
Aylesbury will need to watch out for Chipstead’s tactic of incessantly shaking hands with the opposition before the game to tire them out https://twitter.com/i/status/1446038407671595011
Monday 4th October 2021
This website is following Yate Town in the FA Cup. Make sure they tell the coach driver to stop Dover, otherwise, they will be playing in the French Cup.
Friday 1st October 2021
I’m looking forward to Aylesbury United vs Chipstead. I wonder if they serve Aylesbury Duck instead of Peking Duck in the Chinese restaurants.
Saturday 25th September 2021
£1500 is the prize money for winning a First Round Qualifying game. That’s more than I get paid for a whole season of witticisms.
Tuesday 21st September 2021
It’s Newcastle Town that are appearing in the FA Trophy 1st Round Qualifying this weekend at Kempston Rovers. I remember a mileage road sign near Stoke that read Stoke 2 Newcastle 5. “If only” were the words written underneath it by a Geordie fan. If only, indeed.
Friday 17th September 2021
It’s the Second Round Qualifying of the FA Cup this week. Darlington face Chester City, a game that must have taken place many times before in the Football League. Gateshead also face Bradford (Park Avenue), two other old adversaries. Bring back the old Division Four.
Tuesday 14th September 2021
I was about to write the Football Association when I discovered a football team called Quorn. It turns out it’s not a team for vegans to follow, but a proper place. I wonder if anyone has ever lived in Ham and Sandwich.
Sunday 12th September 2021
Hashtag United is a strange name for a football team. Football teams should represent towns or cities. Bring back the good old days when teams like Wanderers used to win the FA Cup.
Tuesday 7th September 2021
I just noticed on his groundhoppers page that he has restricted the free beers to 5 groundhoppers per game (and only one beer!). That’s the plans of my 100 groundhopping mates scuppered.
Saturday 4th September 2021
Of course, we all know why he chose Chipstead as the trial game. He had been on Tripadvisor and found the White Hart pub was a few hundred yards from the ground.