Not plain any more
Torquay United have fallen on hard times, playing in the National
League South after being relegated last season. Their 23-24 shirt has been met with disapproval by the local Gulls’ supporters. It looks like a gull flew overhead and did something down the front of their shirt, which is no longer a plain yellow with blue trim. It can’t be a good advert for any of the design courses at South Devon College.
East meets West
Two far-flung sides started the season well this week. Mousehole travelled over 180 miles to play Westbury United, a club south-east of
Bath and won 4-0 to go top of the Southern League Division One South. For Mousehole, this will be one of many journeys east. To put their travels in perspective, you could walk from Mousehole’s ground to Land’s End more quickly than driving to Westbury United. Another ‘west’, Westfield, travelled overseas to Guernsey in the Isthmian League South Division and suffered a similar fate, losing 3-1 to the hosts after conceding three goals in the last 20 minutes.
RIP Andy Smart
My favourite improv comedian, Andy Smart, died suddenly in May. He was a fanatical supporter of Farnborough, a lover of non-League football and did witty live commentaries for Farnborough’s home games. Shortly before his death, I chatted with Andy about non-League footy and presented him with a copy of From Hashtag United to Wembley; he later kindly made a donation to the Charlton Upbeats. Besides hitchhiking to the World Cup in Spain in 1982, one of my favourite stories about Andy was when he took on a bet that he could hitch from Liverpool to the top of Ben Nevis and back in 48 hours. He made it in good time and waited outside a pub until 47 hours, 59 minutes, and 59 seconds had elapsed before entering to claim his win from a friend already celebrating. I always wondered whether Andy saw Farnborough play at Hitchin Town.
Changing tack
When Jay Malshanskyj put Bishop’s Cleeve ahead 1-0 in the second minute of their Extra Preliminary Round FA Cup tie against Thornbury
United, most home fans may have thought no more than, “That’s a good start”. However, the goal is a landmark in the FA Cup’s long history. The goal was scored at 7.46 pm on Friday, 4th August, which makes it the earliest time in the year for the first FA Cup goal of a season. Jay’s goal replaces Liam Tack, who scored for Flackwell Heath at 7.51 pm on 4th August 2017. Bishop’s Cleeve now face North Leigh away from home.
Red Devils
‘Church undone by red’ was the curious headline that stopped me from doing whatever I was doing, which wasn’t much, to be frank. I was hoping to get a bit of gossip about a local vicar being sent off for foul and abusive language or, perhaps, a bishop being shown a red card for a two-footed tackle. Of course, bishops would be no good at football as they could only move diagonally across the pitch. The truth is that the headline refers to the sending-off of Yaw Nantwi-Ofusi when playing for Alvechurch against Hitchin Town.
Haver for a rest
It might be early season, but Haverfordwest County have been in tense battles for several weeks. After warm-up games in June against Carmarthen Town, Larne and Briton Ferry Llansawel, they have played in two Europa Conference League ties. Firstly, they faced KF Shkendija from Albania, winning the tie on penalties after both legs resulted in 1-0 home wins. However, their European dream ended at home to B36 Torshavn from the Faroe Islands, losing 3-2 on aggregate at Cardiff City’s stadium. They returned to the Ogi Bridge Meadow Stadium to face Pontypridd United in the Cymru Premier last weekend; the score was 0-0.
A tad tricky
Talking of changing tack as I was earlier, former jockey Mick O’Connell took the reins at Tadcaster Albion after the club finished
bottom of the Northern Premier League East Division last season. There appeared to be several hurdles ahead for Mick as they lost all five of their pre-season friendlies, scoring only once. The first two games in the Northern Counties Premier East Division against Thackley and Frickley Athletic didn’t go much better, although Taddy scored twice in their 4-2 defeat against Frickley Athletic. Things looked up in their FA Cup with a solid 1-0 win over Redcar Athletic, which will send them to West Allotment Celtic in the next round. It looks like the going will be heavy for the former jockey.
Honesty is the best policy
When Brightlingsea Regent signed Harry Honesty from Witham Town recently, I wondered what might happen if Harry was booked. I imagined a dialogue that would go something like this – Ref: Name. Harry: Honesty. Ref: I think that’s best. Harry: That’s it. The referee’s report might then read, “I booked Mr Thatzit in the 43rd minute for a late tackle. When I asked his name, he seemed to consider being untruthful about giving me his real name”. Too much imagination, perhaps.
Getting your five a day
In the Northern Premier League Midlands Division, Ryan Ingrey scored a late winner to give Cambridge City a 3-2 win over Gresley Rovers. However, victory stemmed from Stefan Broccoli’s two goals earlier to give City a 2-1 lead. There is a rumour that Stefan is off to Brussels to play soon. However, the Midlands Division seems like a healthy division, particularly as Quorn also play in the same division. If you tire of reading about this division, you can always Lye Down and go to Bedworth. Good night.
