Sliced liver sausage
Liversedge lost 1-0 to an 87th penalty at Guiseley, a result which more or less condemns them to relegation from the Northern Premier League Premier Division. Coincidentally, Lincoln United beat Carlton Town by the same scoreline in a relegation tussle. This win guarantees Lincoln United’s safety in the Northern Premier League East Division and means that Carlton Town will need to win their last game to be sure of survival. But what’s the coincidence? The scorer for Lincoln United was none other than Tobias Liversidge.
Animal, vegetable or mineral
Sticking in Lincolnshire, I saw a comedian at the weekend who came from Lincolnshire. He described his home county as flat, with not much going on
This picture was cropped
and where many of our vegetables come from. Imagine my surprise when I spotted that Stefan Broccoli was one of Spalding United’s scorers. If he keeps scoring, he may get a chance to play in Italy for Floretina. Their 4-0 win over Gresley Rovers in the Northern Premier League Midlands Division cements their playoff place. I was briefly even more excited when I misread Rolt, another scorer, as Root. Spalding United will need to gain promotion through the playoffs, but they have sown the seeds for promotion to the Premier League.
Not making a hash of it
From liver sausage to corned beef hash. Congratulations to Hashtag United, the champions of the Isthmian League North Division. The book, From Hashtag United to Wembley, clearly inspired the Tags to greater things this season. Their 6-0 win over Great Wakering Rovers clinched the title in a season in which they have only drawn one and lost four of 37 games. As they head to the Isthmian Premier, their landlords, Bowers & Pitsea, are odds on to be relegated from the Isthmian Premier.
Risible performance by Colney Heath
Colney Heath are struggling near the bottom of the Spartan League South Midlands Premier Division. When they entertained high-flying Risborough Rangers, they probably expected a tough afternoon, but not as tough as it turned out, with the visitors winning 11-2. A hat-trick from Jethro Odumosu helped Rangers on their way, although it was surprising to see that Louis Walsh also scored. It’s presumably why Risborough Rangers have that X factor.
Lambing season
I always keep an eye on the results of Leiston, a club I met for one game on my FA Trophy trail last season. The Leiston game I saw at Bishop’s Stortford
last season was what TV pundits refer to as a bad day at the office. This season, they have been around the top spots in the Southern League Premier Central Division and in with a chance of promotion to the National League South. This weekend, they needed a win at Tamworth to put themselves in a good place to win promotion without suffering the playoffs. However, they lost 3-1, meaning that the Lambs from Tamworth are in pole position to gain promotion, particularly as rivals Coalville Town slipped up at lowly Stratford Town. If Tamworth gain promotion, let’s hope they are not lambs to the slaughter in a higher division.
Wembley complex
Soon after tickets were released for the FA Trophy Final between FC Halifax Town and Gateshead, we understand that the system crashed, leaving many fans uncertain whether they had obtained a ticket or not. Neutrals were also in the dark, it would seem. With no announcements from Wembley Stadium, supporters had to wait until the IT guys fixed the problem. Hopefully, everyone got the tickets they wanted, including fans of the FA Vase finalists, Newport Pagnell Town and Ascot United.
Knowing where the goal is
It’s a rather silly expression that TV pundits use: he knows where the goal is. I’ve known some pretty dreadful strikers in my time, but they all know where the goal is; they just can’t stick the ball in the onion bag too often. However, Paul Mullin of Wrexham and McCauley Langstaff of Notts County not only know where the goal is but stick it in the onion bag regularly. The National League strikers have scored 35 and 41, respectively, with Inih Effiong in third place on a meagre 21. Impressive stuff from Messrs Mullin and Langstaff.
Drop zone
The four clubs relegated from the National League this season could all be former Football League sides. The four relegation spots are occupied at present
by Torquay United, Yeovil Town, Scunthorpe United and Maidstone United. Scunthorpe and Maidstone are already doomed, and Torquay United have the best chance to escape. This would be at the expense of Aldershot, Maidenhead United or York City, with five other less likely possibles.
Roger and out
Brackley Town supporters were growing frustrated at a run of the games with one win. Manager, Roger Johnson, was under some pressure. When AFC Telford United came to Brackley Town, trouble was brewing. Telford are managed by Johnson’s predecessor, Kevin Wilkin, who was dismissed some feel too soon after seven years at Brackley Town, including winning the FA Trophy. A 2-1 win for Telford brought chants from the Brackley faithful of “Kevin Wilkins’ red and white army”. Johnston departed soon afterwards – by mutual consent, of course.
Fat Rophy is back
Fat Rophy’s occasional rants are back on the main website at https://fatrophy.co.uk/fat-rophy-says/. This week, he tells us about a voice in the crowd that thought the referee should avoid appearing on One Man and His Dog. As for the Hands-Free keeper, you will have to find out for yourself. See yer next week.
