Grounds for complaint
It’s a funny thing. Luton Town have been allowed to delay playing their home games in the Premier League as they upgrade their ground to meet Premier League standards. Non-League clubs are not so lucky. If they don’t meet the required standards, they stay in their division with no chance of rising up the ladder until they fix the problem. Non-League clubs have to fork out the cost of upgrading before they have the right to promotion, whereas Luton Town can join the elite and take the increased revenue. Strange.
Route One Exit
The 1st Round Qualifying of the FA Vase took place this weekend. One name jumped out at me: Route One Rovers. They travelled from their home in
Bradford up to Kendal Town. However, the game was scarcely a piece of cake for the long ball specialists, who fell 6-1 to the Cumbrian side. As for FC Deporto Galicia, another fine club, the draw meant they were sent to Daventry. They won’t be silenced, though, as they ran out 7-3 winners.
Undone
At the other end of the mileage scale, Kings Langley (no apostrophe) travelled 14 miles to play Dunstable Town. The final score was a 6-5 away win for the visitors, with five goals coming in the first 13 minutes when Dunstable pegged a goal back to make it 2-3. Louie Collier arguably deserves to be crowned King of Kings Langley after scoring a hat trick in the first nine minutes. Two late goals for the Duns made the score more respectable, as Kings Langley got the jitters near the end.
Travel sickness
Bashley travelled to our friends at Mousehole (more or less Lands End) in the Southern League Division One South fixture and came away with a point from their 400-mile round trip. Guess where Bashley are playing next week in the FA Cup First Qualifying Round. Yes, it’s a return trip, heading towards the Scilly Isles at Mousehole. The League game ended 2-2, which keeps both sides in the top six. If Bashley can get another draw, they can force Mousehole to make the return trip, although I fancy Mousehole are used to travelling the length of Cornwall.
Double Baileys
Not my favourite tipple by any means, but I noted the two scorers for Lancaster City this week were Sam Bailey and Charlie Bailey as they drew 2-2 with Guiseley in the Northern Premier League Premier Division. The Dolly Blues, as they are known, came back from 2-0 down to grab a point thanks to their digestif scorers. As for their nickname, it appears to emanate from blue washing tablets manufactured nearby in the earlier part of the 20th century. The club are also known as ‘Town’, which is confusing, given that King George VI awarded the town city status as part of his coronation celebrations. Still, I have rinsed out enough from this story and don’t want to put my own spin on it.
Sutton United lose to OJMBCR
I hadn’t realised there are two Sutton Uniteds: the one in League Two and the other in Midlands League Division One. After two wins and two draws from their first four games, including a 7-0 win over Smethwick Rangers, they flopped to a 4-1 defeat to OJM Black Country Rangers this weekend. I was curious to know what OJM stood for. If you google the abbreviation, the best answers seem to be Osaka Journal of Mathematics and Oregon Jewish Museum. A bit more digging led me to OJM being the name of the Sunday team that Black Country Rangers merged with. OJM, it transpires, is the initials of founder Adam Younis’s murdered friend Oliver Mee. Good luck to OJMBCR.
Buss route
Newhaven trailed 1-0 deep into injury time against Little Common in the Southern Combination League. We have all read stories of goalkeepers scoring last-ditch goals, but Newhaven’s keeper, Jake Buss, went one better. Rather than a headed goal or a scramble, Jake’s equaliser was a pile driver into the
top corner. As the ball was half-cleared from a corner, Jake side-stepped a player and fired home just as the referee was about to blow for full-time. Jake commented after the game, ““Like to announce my official retirement from football. You will now catch me every Saturday in the boozer showing this video to anyone that will watch it.” You can see the goal here.
Leaving a bad taste in the mouth
The first syllable of Uhlsport does sound rather like a nasty bout of sickness. Perhaps it’s no wonder that Uhlsport, who sponsor the Uhlsport Somerset County League, has Ilminster Town in its Premier Division. It’s hard not to consider food poisoning as the same division has Fry Club, sitting in fourth place, while Chard Town are nearer the bottom. If any players at these clubs are ill, we can only offer to wish them to get Wells City soon.
The long and the short of it
If an army ever gets cornered, they traditionally wave a white flag to surrender. How strange that Cornard United will face White Ensign in the next FA Vase round. Also featuring in the Second Qualifying Round are Shortwood United v Longlevens, while Cove v Glebe is a 9-letter encounter. Wembley FC feature in the FA Vase Second Qualifying Round and will hope for a successful Wembley trail.
