This is Lewes, Dolly
My non-League football hunt took me to The Dripping Pan this weekend. Besides being a ground with a fascinating name, it’s a pleasant place to spend a Saturday afternoon amid the hills of Sussex’s South Downs. Besides its coffee shops, friendly pubs and antique shops, Lewes residents do like to be a bit different. On Guy Fawkes Night, they burn an effigy of a hated person, with Donald Trump, David Cameron and Jeremy Clarkson amongst the victims.
Lewes also has its own money, which most shops will accept. So, Lewes is quirky, and maybe I need to be careful what I say. I don’t want to be 2023’s effigy.
Hot cross buns at Lewes
Lewes played Cray Wanderers in an Isthmian League Premier Division game. One striking thing at kick-off was that over 30% of the players on the pitch had a man bun. This increased to 33.33% when a Cray Wanderers defender took no prisoners in a town with a prison and received a red card. A second-half substitution raised the percentage again to over 38%. More importantly, it evened up the buns on each side.
Stand out player
Although the final score (indeed, the score for the whole game) was 0-0, it was an entertaining game with some excellent wing play and several outstanding saves. If I had to pick a stand-out player, it has to be the one show-off on the field who liked to be different and be a fancy Dan. There was one player I can reveal that played in all-black football boots. What a show-off, indeed! As I drove home, I couldn’t help wondering if there was any way Lewes could be pitted against Hamilton Academicals. I suspect not unless, like Doncaster City, Lewes can claim to be part of Scotland. Lewes is quirky, so maybe they can.
50 up
Yes, it’s issue 50, but here at Fat Rophy Towers, we prefer to celebrate multiples of 73. Be ready for a bumper issue 73 and, of course, issues 146 and 173. 
Why 73? It’s the number of Lewes pennies to the Lewes pound. Actually, that’s not true, but the number 73 is the 21st prime number. Further, its mirror, 37, is the 12th and its mirror, 21, is the product of multiplying 7 and 3. Finally, in binary 73 is a palindrome – 1001001. Extraordinary, huh? So, wait for the 73rd edition – it will be special.
Crusaders and the rebels
At school, I remember being taught something about the religious crusades, but I probably wasn’t listening as intently as I should have. However, this weekend the Crusaders defeated the Rebels. The game was between Hungerford Town
and Slough Town, with Hungerford running out 2-1 winners. Angell starred for Hungerford, but there was no Sole for Slough, as he was an unused substitute.
FA Vase draw: the long and the short of it
The FA Vase 3rd Round Proper draw has taken place with 64 hopefuls dreaming of a trip to Wembley in May. Holders Newport Pagnell Town are still in the competition and face an away trip to Norwich United. I wondered if Newport Pagnell Town is the team with the longest name remaining in the competition. But not by a long way, it transpires. Their 18 letters pale into insignificance compared to Royal Wootton Bassett Town (23 letters) and West Didsbury & Chorlton AFC (24 letters). I was about to disqualify West Didsbury as the ampersand is not a letter, and the ‘AFC’ shouldn’t count. However, another look down the list of games revealed Atherstone / Stone Old Alleynians, a team weighing in with 28 letters, even if you ignore the slash. At the other extreme, Cribbs, who will travel to Bridgwater United, only has 6 letters.
Why Cribbs?
I thought Cribbs warranted further investigation. It transpires that Cribbs play at Cribbs Causeway in Bristol. At first, it seems surprising that the club was founded in London until you discover that Cribbs is the old Sun Life Assurance team. Sun Life left the capital and relocated to Bristol in 1976. I’ll support Newport Pagnell Town and Cribbs in the next round.
Lewes Carol
Finally, if you’re in the Lewes area and like to celebrate Christmas with a carol service, I am told Alice is taking part in an event you should attend. Nothing beats a Lewes Carol service. Good night.
