What a shower
I still remember playing on West London’s Gunnersbury Park in snow and almost freezing to death, all for a dire 0-0 draw. I recall that the shower after the game was much-needed, but a freezing-cold dribble came out. I’ve had better days, but it helped to make me the man I am (ahem). So, what about Southport? They were due to entertain Spennymoor Town last week, but the game was called off. Why? The boiler wasn’t working, and there was no hot water. Come on, lads, surely a National League North game doesn’t have to be called off for this reason. A new nickname of the Cold Showers, perhaps.
Fruity semi-final
The FA Sunday Cup doesn’t receive much publicity, but one tie caught my eye when the semi-final draw was made. St Joseph’s Luton have been drawn
against Pineapple. The wonderfully-named Pineapple, a Liverpool-based club, reached the semis after defeating AFC Bull in the quarter-finals on penalties. In the other semi-final, another Liverpudlian team, Aigburth Arms, face SE Dons. Whether Aigburth will face Wimbledon supporters, MK Dons fans, a bunch of university professors from the Home Counties, or a team comprised of eleven players called Don remains to be seen.
Game, set and match
Last week, we reported how Wingate & Finchley overturned a 3-0 deficit to win 4-3 against Bowers & Pitsea in injury time. This week, the clash of two Ws brought late drama. With injury time approaching, Ware, a team in the play-off spots of the Southern League Division One Central, were drawing 3-3 with visitors Walthamstow. In the 90th minute, Josh Williams sent the home fans wild as Ware gained a 4-3 lead. After 6 minutes of injury time, the home fans were scratching their heads as Walthamstow scored three times to produce a tennis score by winning 6-4.
A sandwich short of a picnic
Egham Town caught my attention this week. It wasn’t because they are riding high in the Cherry Red Records Combined Counties League Premier Division North (let’s call it the CRRCCLPDN, for short), but because I discovered their nickname is the Sarnies. After wondering why on earth they were called the Sarnies for a few seconds more than I would like to admit, the penny dropped. Don’t get it? Lettuce explain. Actually, I just wonder if you can buy a club sandwich at their ground and whether they have any subs.
Mister Trick
Farmer Tom Pearcy claims to have created the biggest maze in the whole of Europe. The maze, situated near York, is the size of Wembley and has paths which, when viewed from above, depict Mr Men characters. An aerial view reveals Mr Tickle, Little Miss Sunshine, Mr Tall, Mr Bump and Little Miss Brave. Why am I telling you this? Is it not a coincidence that York City FC are known as the Minstermen?
Nickname from Pungus
Sitting at the top of Northern Premier League Midlands Division is Halesowen Town. With Stamford hard on their heels, they must keep up their good form this season. Their nickname, The Yeltz, is a fascinating one. One theory is that it derives from the sound of the Black Country dialect, but the more attractive story is that it comes from Pungus Catfich, no less, playing for Halesowen after the Second World War. Pungus, besides having a fabulous name, was Hungarian, and he occasionally slipped back into his native tongue while playing, shouting, “Yeltz”, which loosely translates as ‘on me head, son’. I ought to award a prize if anyone can share knowledge of a footballer with a better name than Pungus Catfich.
Conceding once in a Blue Moon
Bemerton Heath Harlequins might not be a familiar team to many, but they have had an extraordinary February. They have played seven Wessex League
Premier League games in February, with their eighth game tonight against Shaftesbury. In those games, they have scored 24 goals and conceded 1 goal to push them into fourth place. The club play at Moon Park and have an excellent website. You can even find out the players’ nicknames, with Philip Bright’s nickname of CrabAir being the most mysterious. As for Connor Thorne being nicknamed Wino, we won’t ask.
Real nickname
At the top of the Spartan South Midlands Division 1, you will find Real Bedford. I’m curious about whether the ‘Real’ part of their name is pronounced like Real Madrid or whether it is like the English adjective. The club badge is a skull and crossbones. What’s more, their nickname is the Miners. When you look at the club’s badge more closely, things get even more curious – it has the text ‘Est. Block 712003’. This refers to its blockchain and Bitcoin connections. Peter McCormack is the man behind this Bitcoin club, as he calls it. However, it’s time for Imaginary Bedford and time to go up the wooden hill to…
