Clubs with numbers
In Weekly Review 51, an easy mini-quiz featured clubs appearing in the FA Trophy or FA Vase with numbers in their names. A letter from Jason Anonymous suggested that there must be a football team at Chiltern Hundreds. Jason says you can interpret that name as many hundreds of hundreds if you wish, so it must be the winner. Well, Chiltern Hundreds do not appear in either cup, but Ringworm fulfilled the cup entry criterion by offering 1874 Northwich, Cammell Laird 1907, Clanfield 85 and Darlaston Town (1874).
There are tons more – literally
Of course, as Ringworm points out, there are tons more, as several
clubs have ‘ton’ in their name. Indeed, literally tons. I use the word ‘literally’ in the modern sense. On a recent train journey, I overheard two young ladies discussing trouble at a nightclub. “There were literally thousands of police outside”, she claimed. Her friend replied, “really?”. For emphasis, the eyewitness retorted with, “Yes, literally”. “Wow”, the friend offered. “There were blades involved, I think”, she added. As the train was passing close to Sheffield, I wanted to ask whether that was blades with a lowercase or uppercase ‘b’; we will literally never know.
Book sales
I’m delighted to report that From Hashtag United to Wembley book sales are increasing steadily. Amazon is ready for the Christmas rush. As for sales, I don’t have exact numbers to hand, but I noticed a rush of sales in Germany last week. I can only assume that German professional footballers have felt the need to go back to basics and learn from the bottom upwards.
Albert Hall performance
It was good to see last season’s FA Vase winners, Newport Pagnell, get through to the Fourth Round of this season’s competition with a 1-0
win at Norwich United. I witnessed the Swans win the FA Vase last season in their 3-0 win over Littlehampton Town. Their fans were a good-natured bunch, many using the hashtag #turnwembleygreen. I can’t say that they literally turned it green, but they made a fantastic effort, even though, of course, a green pitch gave them a good start in their ambitions. Against Norwich United, Albie Hall struck an 85th winner to see the Swans take a step closer to Wembley.
Bun note
Ten miles separate Lewes from Whitehawk, the Isthmian club from East Brighton. At a recent Lewes game, I reported that 38% of the players on the field had a man bun. Not so at Whitehawk last weekend, where the Hawks welcomed Ramsgate in a top-of-the-table clash in the Isthmian South East Division. There was just one wispy ponytail on display. The Whitehawk Ultras were, though, in good voice throughout. I’ve always liked their songs and appreciated the simplicity of “We are Whitehawk, super Whitehawk from Whitehawk”.
Ramming it down his throat
On the day at Whitehawk, table-topping Ramsgate ran out 3-1 winners. It was tough on the Hawks, who had long periods of pressure
but got caught on the break twice. I stood for some of the game with a husband and wife team supporting Whitehawk and a young couple who were neutrals. Unaware of their neutrality, the Whitehawk-supporting lady asked the young man, “Are you a Ram?” The young man explained his neutrality with a straight face; I am sure I saw the young lady was trying to hide a smile.
Life O’Brien
Connor O’Brien snatched a last-gasp equaliser for Radcliffe in the Northern Premier League Premier Division clash at Matlock Town. Even after Church and Abbott had twice given Matlock the lead, the Gods were not on the home team’s side. The result leaves both teams just outside the play-off zone.
Literally, the end
By the way, I always like Jamie Redknapp’s use of literally. Referring to a player, Jamie offered, “he literally has no right foot”. Although Jamie has also told us, “that cross to Rooney was literally on a plate”. Or, how about “Barca literally passed Arsenal to death”? Finally, this takes some beating: “centre forwards have the ability to make time stand still. And when Chopra got the ball, it literally did just that”. That’s your lot this week. Literally.
Bonus bit
My favourite result of the week and I can’t explain why.
