Wind assisted
One of the big shocks of the weekend was Haringey Borough’s 2-1 win away to Billericay Town. The teams kicked off at opposite ends of the table, but Haringey Borough lifted themselves off the bottom thanks to a late winner from Mekhi Leacock-McLeod. Earlier, George Wind had put through his own
net to give Borough the lead. Wells equalised for Billericay before Mekhi’s winner. However, as Dickie would say, Billericay are doing very well.
Jammy winner
When Felixstowe & Walton United faced Maldon & Tiptree on Saturday in the Isthmian League North Division, it was more than just a Suffolk v Essex battle. It was, of course, the battle of the ampersands. The Seasiders had the better of the first half, but a single late goal from Louis Britton was no more than the Jammers deserved after a solid second-half performance.
Feeling sick in the stomach
In the Europa League last week, Rennes needed a draw against Villareal to progress to the next stage of the competition. Enzo Le Fee took a free kick deep into stoppage time, which hit the post. The ball was played back into the goal area and scrambled home to make it 3-3, sending the Rennes’ fans wild. Then, confusion ensued as the VAR adjudicator disallowed the goal. Why? The ball rebounded back to the free-kick taker, who effectively made a second touch. The jubilant Rennes’ fans were confused and looked sick as an indirect free-kick was rightly awarded. Get the Rennies.
No U-turn by FA
In Shakespeare country, Stratford Town’s Kynan Isaac is seeking his MP’s help to reduce his twelve-and-a-half-year ban from football. Isaac was found guilty of deliberating getting a booking in the televised FA Cup game against Shrewsbury Town earlier in the season. He received a ten-year ban with additions for breaching FA rules and not cooperating with the investigation. Of course, Ivan Toney of Brentford has a shorter ban for his 232 breaches, but it seems unlikely that Kynan will play for England at any stage, so, of course, a twelve-and-a-half-year ban makes sense. There is no truth in the 
rumour that Isaac was trying to fix a scoreline to be 2-3, even though someone overheard a local saying 2-3 or not 2-3, that is the question. Isaac is now training to be a driving instructor, becoming an expert in three-point turns rather than, perhaps, turning three points.
Seasonal greetings
Wisbech St Mary deserve a mention as we approach Christmas Day. They may not be pulling up trees, Christmas trees or any others, in the CSI Cambridgeshire County League Adcock Premier Division (CSICCLAPD for short), but their club contains all the letters of Christmas, and that’s good enough for us. There are some other clubs, such as Bugbrooke St Michaels and Smethwick Rangers, but The Saints only have four wasted letters. Let’s hope they climb up the CSICCLAPD soon.
Join the Queue
I have only encountered one non-League club beginning with Q, which was Quorn, a club we have featured previously. I am delighted to report that Quedgeley Wanderers are alive and well in the Marcliff Gloucestershire County League. They seem like an active club with teams for all age groups and for boys and girls. However, I worry that some of their players are overweight as they sell shirts in sizes ranging from Medium to 5XL on their website.
Interestingly, their next fixture is just before Christmas against Little Stoke. Maybe it will be a case of the XLs playing the Ms.
Organ donors
In last week’s review, we reported on the clash of the Pools in the FA Trophy – City of Liverpool v Hartlepool United. Of course, it was an oversight that we didn’t mention that City of Liverpool and Hartlepool United both contain organs (no, not that type). In the last 32 of the FA Trophy, Hartlepool United face the team with the longest name still in the competition when they entertain Hampton & Richmond Borough. What will the Monkey Hangers make of the Beavers, we wonder?
Getting away with murder
The Met Police are struggling two from the bottom of the Isthmian South Central Division. This week, they played hosts to mid-table Ascot United. The result was a comfortable 5-2 win for the Yellamen from Surrey, as they overran the boys in blue. The scorers for the Met Police were Ernest and Brown, curiously the name of a murderer who was sentenced to be hanged in the 1930s.
Christmas Break
That’s it from Fat Rophy until after Christmas. The next edition of the Non-League Review will appear on New Year’s Eve. If you’re desperate for football on Christmas Day, rather than tucking into the turkey, how about tucking into four Turkish Super Lig games? Have a Merry Christmas.
