Disemvowelled
In last week’s review, we looked at clubs with one or no vowels in their name. Vowelless Cwm’s football team, Cwm Albion, has won the Specsavers Best Worst Team award. Playing at their ground in the over-vowelled Blaen-Y-Maes, they suffered twenty-one defeats in twenty-one games, with a goal difference of minus 191. Specsavers aim to change the fortunes of the South Wales club, but maybe not to the extent that Ryan Reynolds and Rob McElhenny have changed Wrexham in North Wales. Meanwhile, US rapper 50 Cent is sponsoring an Under-14 girls’ team in Cardiff. Hopefully, his sponsorship is more than 50 cents. Frankly, I’m just disappointed Cwm Albion chose Albion as part of their name.
Olympic flag
I liked this tweet from Notts Olympic. Let’s sum up non-league. 3 keepers said they couldn’t play, just 13 lads available. 1 stormed off
before KO No striker or GK available. The gaffer, first game in 10 years, goes in goal, CM has to come off after 10 for a family emergency. But we end up in the pub celebrating 3 pts! Great job, Notts Olympic, but I can’t help wondering why they only had three pints.
Three of a kind
Also, last week, we covered the extraordinary story of Three Bridges and the threes. We discovered that Milton Keynes Irish were the September Spartan South Midlands Division team of the month. Look at their record for September (yes, it’s a bit late). Played 3, Won 3, Goals Scored 9, Goals Conceded 3, Points 9. The attendances were 33, 102 and 123, all divisible by three. Actually, it was 122, but the turnstile failed to register for one spectator. A repair to the turnstile is underway. Extraordinary, eh?
Singing the Blues
As readers of my book Hashtag United to Wembley may recall, following the 21-22 FA Trophy, I witnessed a cracking game between St Albans City and Cheshunt. Cheshunt made that trip to St Albans after winning on penalties against the Blues of Bishop’s Stortford in the previous round. Bishop’s Stortford faced St Albans at home in this year’s FA Trophy on Saturday and won 3-1 (another three). Mbunya Alemanji was the man who made the difference with goals just before and just after half-time. Bishop’s Stortford march on to face Ebbsfleet United away.
The North/South divide
It’s a strange old world. Bishop’s Stortford are one of the unluckiest clubs this season, having been placed in the National League North after gaining promotion from the Isthmian Premier League last season. They will need to buy some maps for their journey south to Ebbsfleet in the FA Trophy 3rd
Round. Similarly, Hereford temporarily become a southern club, although it will be the winners of the rescheduled Bognor Regis Town v South Park tie that will be travelling in a northwesterly direction.
Well stocked
Stockton Town leapfrogged Belper Town to go top of the Northern Premier League East Division this weekend. It was an emphatic 7-1 victory for the Anchors as they nailed the Nailers. Kev Hayes was the star of the show with a well-earned hat-trick. Appropriately, Stocktown’s manager is former player Michael Dunwell. In his post-match interview, I hope he said, “The boys done well”. I wonder if the Havant & Waterlooville manager would say, “Havant, the boys done well” after a similar score.
End of the Cray twins
After the heroic efforts of Cray Valley Paper Mills against Charlton in the FA Cup, they had to face Hampton & Richard Borough at home in the FA Trophy on Saturday. It was a case of ‘after the Lord Mayor’s show’ as the team with an ampersand ran out 5-1 winners. Cray Wanderers also departed from the competition to the multi-hyphenated Weston-super-Mare by a 4-1 margin. Undefeated in the Isthmian League South East Division, Cray Valley PM need to get back to league action and start to catch up on their backlog of games, as they are six games behind many clubs.
Essex Senior Alliance
The Essex Senior Alliance is a league that fascinates me. My three favourite teams in the league are FC Baresi, Kit Out London and Baker693. FC Baresi top the division, but their news page adds mystery with the headline Baresi ultras Baresi drop points. On Saturday, FC Baresi managed a 2-2 draw at Lymore Gardens, which, in truth, was a fair result. Kit Out London also drew 2-2 with Priory Park Rangers. Priory Park Rangers, nicknamed the Owls,
play in all blue. I’ve not seen too many blue owls, but you can rest assured Priory Park Rangers are better for evening kick-offs.
Walsall Wood won well
In the alliteration tie of the FA Trophy Second Round, Walsall Wood won well with a 5-3 penalty shoot-out victory over Hemel Hempstead Town. Walsall Wood equalised in the 76th minute through Callum Griffin against their National League South opponents and battled well in extra time to hold out for a draw, despite Hemel Hempstead being reduced to ten men after Declan Riley chopped Wood’s Williams.
Gibraltar rocked
Away from non-League matters, I couldn’t help noticing France’s 14-0 win over Gibraltar at the weekend. What was even more outstanding for me was that ten different players got on the scoresheet. Is that a record? It beats Liverpool’s record of nine different scorers when they beat Stromgodset 11-0 in the 1974-75 season. I’m off to play FIFA 2023 to see if I can get eleven different scorers against Gibraltar.
