Getting an early bath
It’s old news and not even non-League news. However, it’s one of my favourite football-related pictures and takes some beating. Seven years ago, American Hot Tubs sponsored Falkirk, which meant that a party of three could
I’ve always liked incongruity, but this is one of the best
watch a Falkirk match from the hot tub. Let’s put aside whether you would want to watch Falkirk play, but would you want to be photographed in a dressing gown beside the pitch? If you would, join Fat Rophy’s Christmas Hot Tub Competition on page 58.
Missing a late Bath
While we’re on the subject of hot tubs and baths, Bath City missed a chance to go into the National League South playoff places when Jack Turner saved Cody Cooke’s late penalty at Farnborough to keep the scores at 2-2. Meanwhile, Tom Bath’s strike put Exmouth Town ahead against Cribbs in the Southern League Division One South game. However, the visitors pulled the plug on their opponents to run out 3-2 winners to remain in second place.
Ampersand madness
The A14 takes you from the Midlands to the East Coast of England. There are two ports at the end of the A14. I can’t help wondering why the football clubs from both ports felt the need to join a lesser place and add an ampersand to their name. Perhaps supporters of Felixstowe & Walton United or Harwich & Parkeston can explain. God forbid they amalgamate to become Felixstowe, Walton, Harwich & Parkeston United. Are there any clubs with commas in their name out there?
Mark axed
According to Wikipedia, Lancaster City appears to have more nicknames than any other club. They are known as the Dollies, the Dolly Blues, The Blues, City and, most curiously, Town. The club play at the Giant Axe, which may sound appropriate when you learn that manager Mark Fell parted company with the club last week. In their first game without Fell, who had been manager for five years, the 
Dollies drew 2-2 against a club I remember well from my younger days, Bradford (Park Avenue). Did they always put the last part of their name in parentheses?
Notts Olympic 4 Pelican 7
In last week’s review, I showcased Notts Olympic, who cobbled together a side and won. Their gaffer went between the sticks, his first game in ten years. Afterwards, they celebrated in the local pub. I can’t help wondering if they went to the pub before the game this week, as they lost 7-4 at home to Pelican. If the gaffer bought several drinks in the pub later, he would have suffered a large bill twice in one day.
The Clitheroe Kid
La la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la la la la la la, la la la la. La la la la. Sefton Gonzales was not walking between some old adobe haciendas in Old Mexico, but facing the Pitmen of Hednesford Town in the Northern Premier League West Division on Saturday. He scored all four goals in the game to push Clitheroe into the playoff spots and leave Hednesford anchored to the bottom of the pit. Sefton’s first goal was speedy, too, as he opened the scoring after four minutes.
Vase ties
It’s the Third Round Proper of the FA Vase this coming weekend. Two animals lock horns, and we can expect Harefield United to outrun the Jersey Bulls. Or, you may be more interested in London Lions, who face Pegasus, a club that has strength on the wings. Carl and Dickie meet when Carlton Town face Charnock Richard, while there’s a meaty tie when Egham Town play Cobham. There is another hammy game when Farnham Town face Burnham, but, of course, Fat Rophy will be supporting Roffey against North Greenford United. I rather hope that Roffey pronounce their name to rhyme with Trophy.
Shouldering responsibility
Bracknell Town made a club announcement this week. It read as follows: We win together and lose together! We have just departed Plymouth [Parkway] with a full team including Dante who unfortunately suffered a dislocation of the shoulder in todays match. Thank you to our physio indie sale who went with him to the hospital for the shoulder to be relocated! We’ll forgive a few missing commas and apostrophes,
but the last line confused me. What does a physio indie sale have to do with fixing Dante’s shoulder? I then discovered that Ms India Sale is The Robins’ Head of Medical. It was a painful injury for Dante, but not as bad as going through an inferno.
Sheffield show steel
There’s no Wednesday or United in Sheffield FC, a club I had always assumed played in Yorkshire. The club (The Club is also their nickname) play in Dronfield, which is in Derbyshire. Dronfield is midway between Sheffield and Chesterfield. Rather like their more illustrious neighbours in Sheffield, Sheffield FC are at the bottom of the Northern Premier League East Division. However, the tide may be turning, as they came back last Saturday from 4-1 to high-flying North Ferriby to draw 4-4 with two goals in stoppage time, an own goal and a strike from Benni Ndlovu. We’re backing Sheffield to climb the table.
