Taking the gloss off home games
Truro City have been playing home games almost 50 miles away at Plymouth Parkway this season. Postponements at Plymouth Parkway forced Truro City to play at Taunton
Town, 113 miles away. Postponements at Taunton Town now mean they are scheduled to play at Gloucester City, which is 190 miles away. Is this a record distance for a home game? This is further than Manchester United playing home games at Arsenal.
The Big Apple
Adam Hinshelwood left Worthing as manager this week to take over as New York City manager. Or, at least, it appeared so. Fortunately, someone’s tweet was soon corrected to read as referring to the new York City manager. It will be a bumpy ride for Adam. York City lost at home to Wealdstone in his first game in charge of the National League club, while Dorking Wanderers surprisingly leapfrogged the Minstermen by beating runaway leaders Chesterfield 4-1. It’s easy to confuse the Minstermen with the Mister Men. Adam may think things are Mr Messy right now.
All seams well
Sherwood Colliery sit proudly at the top of the UHLSport United Counties Premier Division North. They have an 8-point lead over second-placed Lincoln United. On Saturday, they faced Boston Town and had to dig deep to come away with a point after a tough 0-0 draw. The club runs a veterans’ team and an under-21 team. I can’t help wondering if they will run an under-11 team for minors. More worryingly, I can’t stop humming Old King Cole when I think about the veterans’ side.
Bee Sting
OK, OK, so fake news has sent our office into turmoil. Our anonymous friend from Histon tells us that the Bee Shannon story was just a wind-up (see last week’s review). He or she told us immediately after sending last week’s episode, which informed the world that Bee had married Delilah, the sister of a goalkeeper called Stopp, who became Del Shannon.
If Bee scored 204 goals for Histon Reserves why wasn’t he in the first team? Ant Lynn remains the only insect with a girl’s name for a surname. We await news of Nat Olive, a relative of Joan Olive, who is (or maybe was) a MotoGP racer.
Five bridges the gap
Cray Valley Paper Mills are flying high in the Isthmian League South East Division. However, their hopes of automatic promotion took a knock this week when Three Bridges scored two goals deep into stoppage time to win 5-4. The hero was Noel Leighton, who completed a hattrick with the last kick of the game, having spent Christmas in the Orient. Three Bridges are now in the play-off spots with the Millers.
Stan
Heaton Stannington sounds like a posh bloke who went to public school and has become a Tory MP. However, Heaton Stannington is a club playing in the Northern League Division One, based on the outskirts of Newcastle. Like their mighty neighbours at Newcastle United, they wear black and white stripes, although the stripes are unusually narrow. The Stan, to use their rather excellent nickname, are pushing for the top spots in the table but need to win their games in hand. Let’s hope they make grandstan finish.
Sky Blues play the Simms card
4800 Maidstone United fans made their way to Coventry City to witness their 5th Round FA Cup tie – their average home gate is nearer 1500. The result was a 5-0 win for the Championship side, but the Stones put up a fight before Ellis Simms bagged a hattrick. The Stones may have hoped for more with a midfield of Sole, Bone and Corne, but it was still an excellent effort to get so far.
Club sandwich
I love the ‘club statements’ that clubs post on Twitter (now called X), Facebook and other social media platforms. They mostly thank managers for all their hard work, having sacked them following a string of defeats. Anyway, club statement of the week comes from Pontypridd United. They have two
mysterious statements in one. It’s headed 3-point deduction. ‘…the club disclosed a similar technical issue…This relates to a COMET upload issue and has resulted in the club receiving a 3-point deduction’. However, there’s more. ‘For clarification, the FAW press release of December 11th, quoting 135 suspended points, has since been confirmed as incorrect by the panel Chair’. I’m none the wiser, to be honest, but be careful if you upload any comets and remember not to buy a panel chair from Ikea.
Hurricane Higgins
Like the Three Bridges fixture, there was a late flurry of goals in the Isthmian League Premier game between Lewes and Canvey Island. Surely, there is no ground in the country with a better name than The Dripping Pan; it is one of my favourite grounds to visit, too. Lewes went into stoppage 1-0 up, but Sam Higgins levelled things up. Then, Jake Elliott restored the Lewes lead before Higgins scored from a free kick that went through the Lewes wall (or lattice fence) to give Canvey Island a share of the points.
Fans of Plymouth sound off: “Hoe Dear”
Plymouth Parkway are suffering from the wet winter more than most clubs. They have played just 24 of their 42 Southern League Premier South games, nine fewer than many other teams in the division. Having managed to play just one game in February, they face ten games between the 5th March and the 1st April. They are currently in a relegation spot but could, in theory, reach the playoffs. Not much hoe, hoe, hoe at Plymouth Parkway at the mo.
