Cancel culture
It took Jason Anonymous about four minutes to notice that the airport departure board featured in last week’s issue was from America. The word ‘canceled’ appeared in the picture with the American spelling rather than ‘cancelled’. Perhaps the Isle of Man authorities have adopted the American spelling. To be honest, we are more interested in knowing if they play cup ties over three legs.
Fox or fowl
I like to follow @DaveGroundHops on Twitter. This week, he made his way to Newport County v Swindon Town. However, for reasons I’ll never
understand, he could not pay at the door to attend. Instead, he made his way to Taff’s Well to see a 6-2 win over Cwmbran Celtic in the JD Cymru South League. Jack Fox scored two of the home side’s goals, and Vaughan Fowler also bagged a couple. The club badge of Taff’s Well has no apostrophe, but readers will be delighted to know that the sign at the ground’s entrance (or is that grounds entrance?) has everything in order.
Insects and girls
Ant Lynn was featured last week as someone with a name that was a combination of an insect and a girl’s name. A reader has offered Bee Shannon as another who played for ‘his local club’. We have a team of twenty researchers trying to find out more about Mr Shannon, but if the person with the extraordinary Gmail account can tell us more, we’ll publish the club next week.
Unexpected consonants
I wonder how many of the 105 attending Gorleston v Brentwood Town noticed the names of the three Brentwood Town scorers in their 3-2 win. It’s not too often that surnames beginning with M or N are followed by another consonant. However, the three scorers were McKenzie, Ngandu and Nzengo. If you believe in the rhyme, ‘blue and green should never be seen’, the Blues saw off the Greens 3-2.
Battle of Salamis
An avid reader pointed out that the title for the battle at New Salamis in the 90th minute against Redbridge should have been ‘Battle of Salamis’, where the score was Greece 1 Persia 0 (see last week’s issue). As historians will know, the battle took place in 480 BC. I have always wondered how they knew it was 480 BC.
Sucker punch
We are delighted that New Salamis completed their game this week 
away to Heybridge Swifts without fans fighting. A stoppage time penalty converted by Kieran Jones won the game for the Swifts as the match finished 2-1. It was curious that the New Salamis scorer was Boxer – or was this a member of the crowd?
City slickers
Moving swiftly on, the big tie of next week’s FA Vase last 16, or Round of 16 as it seems to be called these days, features the Worcestershire derby between Stourbridge Swifts and Worcester City. While the Round of 16 of the FA Trophy has no clubs from cities (we exclude London suburbs), the Vase features both Worcester City and Lincoln United. Fascinatingly, Worcester City was formed in 1902 when Berwick Rangers and Worcester Rovers amalgamated. Berwick Rangers? Yes, Berwick Rangers. Who is old enough to remember Worcester City beating Liverpool in the FA Cup?
Keeping it real
Real Bedford are top of the Spartan South Midlands Premier League. As an aside, you pronounce the ‘Real’ of Real Bedford like the superstars from Madrid rather than something that is not imaginary. On Saturday, they faced third-placed Leverstock Green, a club nicknamed the Trees. The winners were the Trees by a 2-1 margin on the day. It’s worth noting that Rio Beach wore the number three shirt for the Trees, not only sounding like a tree but having the dual role of sounding like a holiday resort. Green was also a sub for the Trees, while Tom Wood ought to seek a transfer from Real Bedford to Leverstock Green.
Keeping it green
Vegan-sandwiched between Real Bedford and Leverstock Green are Milton Keynes Irish, a club with only one defeat in the League this season. The
greens of MK Irish had some lumberjacks in their side as they cut winless Sawbridgeworth Town down to size with a comfortable 3-0 win. From trees to birds, this match was contested by the Robins of Sawbridgeworth and the club formally known as Milton Keynes Robins. However, the scoreline suggests that MK Irish did not rob lowly Town of the points.
It’s a big fat deal
It’s almost 24 years since Deal Town lifted the FA Vase at Wembley with a 1-0 over Chippenham Town in the last final at the old Wembley. This year, they are into the last 16 and face Bridgwater United, a side equalling their best-ever Vase run. Bridgwater United, also known as the Robins, will entertain the Hoops as the hoops of Deal face the stripes of Bridgwater. As I understand it, hoops make you look fat, and stripes make you look tall. I must change this hooped t-shirt.
Eight-word contest
Last week’s Uhsport Hellenic League Wiseman Lighting Floodlit Cup Quarter-Final was not only an eight-word competition round, but the two combatants comprised eight words when Roman Glass St George faced Royal Wootton Bassett Town. Did the game produce eight goals? Hardly. A single goal for Roman Glass was enough to put them into the semi-finals. Hopefully, they will face University of Bristol Intramural. I think the writing is on the wall. I also think that’s enough of that. Time for a swift exit. Here’s to the next hundred!
